My WH refuses to stop seeing OW and we are moving forward with the D. He is being extremely nice because he would like to see his son as much as possible. Currently he gets 8 hours a week. He stays with the OW at her home even though he has his own apartment. I just found out that he is giving me the house and all the equity which is a great deal.
It is really hard raising my son he is fussy. I call my WH to come over at night occasionally when I am at the end of my rope. He offered to come anytime to help out. He has no idea how hard it is to raise him. I want this to be over and find happiness with someone else. I wish I could just get over him. I guess it will take time. I am still shocked that this has even happened.

I want this to be over and find happiness with someone else
You have to be with someone else to be happy?

Durham - I am so sorry you are having to go through this. It looks like I will be in the same position in December. Not quite the life we imagined? One way or another things will work out and at least we will have our beautiful babies to keep us company. One thing I just can't understand is how at the end of a day a parent could stand saying good bye to his/her child instead of good night. It's just heart breaking.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> One thing I just can't understand is how at the end of a day a parent could stand saying good bye to his/her child instead of good night. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I never understood this either. When my H was gone, it killed me to see him say good bye to his kids after his visits. I didn't understand how he could just drive away all the time, sometimes not seeing them at all for a couple of days. What I found out from him was that it killed him to walk away from his kids all the time, but he was determined that he wasn't coming back here just for them. He didn't want his kids to be around constant fighting, he thought it would be better & they'll adjust better if he wasn't living here. I don't understand that, but I guess from his mind it made sense to him.

You ladies will be alright. My older sister D her H when my niece was 2 years old & has raised her alone ever since. And then her 4-yr old son's father & her didn't work out either, but she has joint custody of him, so how she does it is beyond me. It was so hard for me to raise 3 kids by myself when H was away, I can't imagine an infant!

Durham - I don't know how to answer your question. My knee jerk reaction is that your H doesn't deserve to be a father to your son.

I recommend you look out for yourself and your son - your H cannot be counted on for anything. Result> take him to the cleaners and suck him dry. Get as much as you can out of him for your son. I have an 11th grader looking at college in two years - it ain't cheap and you cannot count on an infidel to do what's right.

WAT

My son is one and I find myself asking the same question....he is almost walking....why would his father not want to stay and work it out and be with his family and watch his son develope every day.....it really sucks....he sees his son wensdays after work....wich is usually a couple of hours....and thats it....he is currently homelss as well....he could come home if he was willing to STAY home and work it out....but he is to proud....he is so proud he won't even ask OW if he can stay with ehr instead of living out of a car....he has done alot of things to hurt me....and I am trying to heal...and he isn't helping me....rightnow the constant reminder of him being around is almost too much....his revenge affair sucked but what hurt the most was that he lied to me about it....I was honest with him about my affair...I know he is hurting but what happened to the man I feel in love with.....and why is he doing things that he knows hurt me and will affect our son....