I'm sorry if this is a big "DUH" for the rest of you...

I have always been a night person, and I've always had cruddy sleep habits.

Last night I sat up until about midnight reading the card my MIL sent me for my birthday and bawling my a$$ off. This was a big fat jag like I haven't had in a while.

I called in sick this morning and stayed conked, wound up with about 11 hours' sleep. I know sleeping a lot is typical for sad tomatoes like us, but I feel a million times better now that I've got caught up.

Like I said, big "DUH" here. But don't underestimate how effed up sleep deprivation can make you when you're already good and effed up in the first place.

GC

Note to GC - Please send the sandman down south! You hogged the heck out of him last night! I'm tired, and I want to crawl under my desk right now! Also, could you slip him a fiver and ask him to please make sure he douses all the young 'uns at my house really well????

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

- Kimmy

PS - I cried like that Saturday and Sunday. Wasn't till after a nap Sunday afternoon that I felt strong enough to roll out of bed....(((sigh)))

Kimmy, does Nio have a clue how tough his little flights of fancy are on you? I'm sure you don't beat him over the head with it, but do you feel like he "gets it", at least sorta?

If I lived in a cool beach house on stilts, I'd figure I must be doing something right. Are you near Corpus Christi?

Tonight may you sleep like you've been hit with a board. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

GC

Hon - he knows. Some stuff got poured out that I hadn't told him about Saturday (I know, bad RH practice, BAD). He was floored. I guess I should fess up here - I think I did on the PG board, but when my cousin got married I took OC#1 with me to the wedding along with the rest of my ducklings. Even tho I'd checked with mom and she was MORE than okay with it (we love babies, our family), my dad threw a [censored] fit to end all. Called me a doormat, asked me what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks I thought I was doing bringing Nio's *problems* for him to deal with. It was HORRIBLE!
(okay and a disclaimer here: MY OC is not a PROBLEM! She's a little girl with bouncing curls and the longest, most luscious eyelashes - and the most infectious smile ever! She is love and light and one of the few good things that's come out of this mess)

So, when Nio heard that, man, was he ever deflated. Here he was, brought me down here so I'd have family backup once he ddayed, and they all but turn their backs on me (sis, at one time told me she didn't want to *deal* with me anymore). My mom is caught in the middle. My aunt (who I am close to) confides in my mom - they live next door to each other.

Then I fessed up about some med. issues that have come about b/c of the stress....he sorta knew about them, but I'd downplayed the extent of them. I couldn't stop it...those two things are the only things I've ever kept from him - and I'd kept them from him so that he wouldn't worry about me.

So, yep. He knows. It makes it worse for him, tho. I know he loved/s her. I'm not saying I'm okay with it - I loathe the thought of it, honestly...but I UNDERSTAND it. Understanding it makes all the difference. So I know he's in agony for hurting me, but he's also in agony for hurting her. I hate that he's hurting so much...it just kills me to watch this self destruction/rebuilding take place.

A couple of pickle tickles between two people turns into years of hurt that keeps spiraling outward....I wonder when the ripples will finally stop?

Our beach house isn't cool. It's a crappy little beach house that has a GREAT view of the water and a porch that stretches the length of the house. I work in CC, but live about 20 min. away.

Tell the sandman that bedtime for the young 'uns is 8:00 and to really lay it on them!

Sorry to threadjack....but you asked for it!

- Kimmy