Painter pointed me to this link. I posted it on the In Recovery Board. It got a few responses. One from a FWH who doesn't think questions like these help. Don't seem to understand what purpose they serve. My FWH said the same thing - didn't understand what I could get out of asking these questions. Actually, after we started to read through the text of the article explaining each question, my FWH started to understand that by posing such questions the BS finds out a lot of things she might not otherwise. It sparks conversation and sometimes helps with things I haven't thought about before in those exact terms. I am having a hard time with my anger. I don't feel it. I want to feel it. I think I need to feel it. I have anger toward the situation and great sadness. But I keep searching for something. I'm not sure what. I know we are recovering and am so thankful that he is being honest and is finally talking to me. I worry that I am bugging him too much. I certainly don't want to do anything to strain our processing and recovery.

Here it is. Let me know what you guys think. I have not finished reading it but what I've read so far has been helpful.

http://www.ivillage.com/relationshi...p;arrival_freqCap=1&pba=adid=8038978

Naivegirl, buy NOT "Just Friends". This is a very, very good book.

GC

<small>[ September 02, 2004, 08:17 AM: Message edited by: graycloud ]</small>

Thanks GC. I did buy Torn Asunder and we are currently reading that one. I did notice that this article was part of that book. I am going to go to the bookstore tomorrow so I'll check it out.

I am an avid reader. My FWH says that I try to read too many books at once. After d-day, I got every book I could get my hands on. This is how I go about fixing things. One of the books was "His Needs, Her Needs". I found it at the library. I only wish I had found this book years ago and maybe we wouldn't be in this situation. I know I shouldn't be doing the what ifs. But I guess I'm feeling a little down today. No real reason. Edited to add - Except for the life changing predicament our family is currently going through. Other than that I guess everything is just peachy. Sorry I just noticed how silly "No real reason" sounded.

Thanks for letting me know that it is a good book.

<small>[ September 02, 2004, 03:29 PM: Message edited by: naivegirl ]</small>