Well I guess it had to happen one day. This afternoon while seeing patients my assistant whispers to me that my WW is in my personal office. She is there ostensibly to get her mail, but she is sitting and talking on my phones like she owns the place. I calmly walk down the hallway and as she is looking at me in one of her absolute best " I hate your friggin guts" look, I close the door on her and walk into my next patient. I tell my assistant to tell me when she is gone and 2 patients and 45 minutes later she is still there.

I walk down to my office, open the door and see her going through my wallet. I very politely and calmly tell her to "please leave". My next patient is waiting and when I am done my assistant says WW is still in my office. I get my lawyer on the phone and tell him what is happening and he can't believe it. "going through your wallet?' he asks. My attorney says leave her alone and I will call her attorney and get her out of there. I was warned not to go into the room by myself and preferably don't even go close to her. Fifteen minutes later she is gone and I find that she took a very sentimental item off my wall( an 8 x 10 inch photo of her and her OM in a near naked embrace, framed in tasteful WalMart walnut veneer). I can't tell if she took anything out of my wallet but maybe so.

Methinks there might be something wrong in paradise with WW and the OM! I had not seen my WW for about 2 months and now she is looking a lot like me, lost a lot of weight and on the haggard side. So fellow MB'ers what should I make of this episode. Is implosion time fast approaching or is she just trying to get angry enough to finally fill out the rest of the divorce papers? Divorce date is projected to be 10-21-04. OM scheduled to arrive 10-22-04.

Oh my gosh - framed in a very tasteful walnut veneer - from Walmart! Your taste in art and decorating is impeccable.

Possibly she knew it was great art and is going to try to sell it on E-bay.

Cymanca!!

Ohhh NOO!

Not the picture!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Well hopefully you had a copy of that fine print and next time WalMart has their "DollarDays" sale, you can pick up another frame!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Nerly,

I forgot to mention she also went through my computer bag and grabbed my other copies! Luckily, Shutterfly has some digital copies on hand. They shall be notified of my need for replenishment in the am.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cymanca:
<strong> Fifteen minutes later she is gone and I find that she took a very sentimental item off my wall( an 8 x 10 inch photo of her and her OM in a near naked embrace, framed in tasteful WalMart walnut veneer). </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">CY,
WHOA! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I couldn't have something like that hanging on my wall, then again it would help me keep somethings, shall I say? In the correct frame of mind? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Time will only tell, but I've got this slight feeling that there may be some trouble in paradise. These fantasyland worlds WS's create seldom burst to reality. She's lost weight and looks haggard? Tell-tale signs of possible stress. CY, Question:
Would you save your M if she ended no contact with OM and recommitted herself to you? Just a question, I was following your story earlier and became railroaded with my own melodramatic made for tv bs movie.

FM,

You know that is very good question. I fell in love with her once before. If she could put 10 per cent of the effort she has put into her A, I probably could. Looking back at our 8 year relationship objectively; No I don't think she has that 10 per cent effort in her. I guess that was something I always knew in these last 5 months and could not admit.I am ashamed that I let this person in my life. Nothing she has done is out of character for her. I could never look at this A and say it was an aberation, it was just a pinch more of her sense of entitlement.

Cy, I'm amazed you still had that picture on your office wall. Holy smoke. I need to do something like this. Except I don't even know what OM looks like.

GC

Cy,
I'd say if the 90% wins out, make a Christmas card out of it and send it to all of their "loved ones." Wal-mart also has some good deals on them too! If you need a censor on the pic, you could always use the yellow smily face.
LINY very evil when he's pi$$ed.

Have you seen Disconstructing Harry? It's a Woody Allen movie. Kirsty Allen plays a doctor married to the constantly cheating Woody Allen. There's one scene in her office, that is absolutely side splitting. If you want a good laugh I can recommend it. Kirsty Allen has never acted better! Hard to believe she's a scientologist. See? If insanity doesn't get you one way, it's get's you another.

Anyway, was it the frame that offended her? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You said "Methinks there might be something wrong in paradise with WW and the OM! I had not seen my WW for about 2 months and now she is looking a lot like me, lost a lot of weight and on the haggard side. So fellow MB'ers what should I make of this episode. Is implosion time fast approaching or is she just trying to get angry enough to finally fill out the rest of the divorce papers? Divorce date is projected to be 10-21-04. OM scheduled to arrive 10-22-04."

Why is it that some people have this need to self-destruct? Your wife who had it all, destroys it so she can suffer, and then rebuild her life from the bottom up. The plastic surgery's and the need to take up with a cruise ship employee show a emptiness in her soul, that she needs to deal with. Maybe this is a good thing. You said that she was never really that great of a person, and that what she has done is not out of character for her. Maybe she needs to go through this, to become a better, humbled more giving kind of person.

I don't know Cymanca, but for the first time I am getting something different about your sitch. You loved her but didn't like her very much when you were married.

I could be way off here, but your wife may come out of this a better person, especially if her affair plays out like everyone thinks it will.

You have a great personality, a lot of love in your heart, and seem like a very generous, forgiving kind of man... AND you have a great sense of humor - qualities that are not easy to find in a man as ambitious and successful as you.

I think it will be very interesting to see how this all plays out, once the affair has ended. I am beginning to worry about the state your WW will find herself in. For the first time I am feeling pity for your WW, the woman who seemed to have it all, everything except inner peace, the one thing that is really needed to be happy.

Very interesting.

Weaver,

You have rather insightfully and concisely summed up my M and my WW. The only ingredient that was missed is the state of my being. I look back and ask myself, who would tolerate such behavior and why? Why did I love myself so little that I would not only stay but hang on and ask for an opportunity to be abused once more.

Perhaps what Cymanca needs is a very good and hard look at my inner core. Perhaps this was God's ultimate intent through this whole ordeal.

Thanks again Weaver for your insight and your clarity.

Cymanca, she took the FRAME??? WTH. That tears it! She has no limits to her selfish taking taking taking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I'm just joking (kind-of, walnut veneer? You didn't go into that much detail before . . veneer!).

I was watching, or listening, to a show on TV the other afternoon. I don't know the name of it, as I don't normally watch in the afternoon, but it has a bunch of women living in a house together, with a life coach, trying to figure out their issues and "find themselves," and get their lives on track.

Anyway, one of the ladies was pregnant, and left because her boyfriend (doesn't know if he is the father or not - in fact, if he is the father, they keep the baby, if he's not, adoption) wanted her to leave. He felt the women in the house would convince her to leave him.

ANYWAY, the women left at the house were devestated. They didn't understand why a single, scared pregnant lady would leave the support and strength of a house of loving women for this boyfriend - who obviously operates out of fear.

And one of the life coaches said, "Isn't it amazing, and frightening, what we are all capable of doing for a tiny scrap of love." And that statement is just profound to me.

What have we all done, what have we all allowed, just for a tiny scrap of love. I know mine aren't necessarily things I want printed in the newspaper, that's for sure!

And I began to think that in my case, at least, that is what the HW did. She gave up our friendship (ex-best friend), for a scrap of love from my H. And she worked pretty hard to get that scrap. But that is all it could ever have been. A's are not love stories, they are not romantic and carefree. They are nasty, lying, ugly beasts who often consume the partners until we don't even recognize them anymore.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I look back and ask myself, who would tolerate such behavior and why? Why did I love myself so little that I would not only stay but hang on and ask for an opportunity to be abused once more. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is what I thought about when I read your above post. Maybe you did it for a scrap of her love. And maybe, that is all your WW knows how to give or receive. I know that is how it is with the HW. She cannot have a real relationship, because she doesn't know truth, loyalty, friendship. She just never learned.

AND, worst of all, she doesn't even KNOW that. I agree with Weaver. Perhaps God can reach your WW through this. Perhaps it will bring her to her receptive knees in front of God, and she will ask Him for help and let Him in her heart.

I sense you have always chosen to focus on the very best in her. We all have the dark side.

Well, now I am just babbling. First I start talking about the dark side, then I start quoting Yoda, and then the moderators will politely yet firmly ask me to leave . . . so, I'll just end here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Keep posting!

SS

SS -

I read with interest about your ex bestfriend HW.
And what she will do for a tiny scrap of what looks like love, but couldn't be further from.

One of my best girlfriends is just like that, I love her dearly but know her well enough that I would never trust her around any man. We all know this about her, she is completely unable to have a lasting, meaningful relationship. And she has had all the plastic surgery's, in fact whe was a real knockout before all the enhancements, but just like in her romantic life, nothing will ever be enough to fill the gaping hole inside her soul. Why this is I don't know. I do really love her, and she has a good personality when it's just the girls, but let a man show up, and my gosh - what a different girl she becomes.

Anyway, totally OT, but your HW, made me think of her.

Spider,

There are a lot of qualities that I find with individual posters on this site, babbling is not one of them. This weekend I hope to try and relax, call my mom and family and have my office staff out to my beach house for a little camaraderie( God knows they need it. The poor souls have been caught in the middle of all this ugliness).

I will check in during the weekend, because I need my MB fix. My prayers are with you and the rest of my MB friends.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cymanca:
<strong>

....Perhaps what Cymanca needs is a very good and hard look at my inner core. Perhaps this was God's ultimate intent through this whole ordeal.....

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There is nothing quite like God holding a mirror up to our face, then clearing his throat to get our attention.

Gimble

Gimble,

Prophetic words. I just wish I had listened harder for that throat clearing.

Cy,
Have a really good weekend, will ya.

SS