I am currently in Plan A, but I have a question about love busters.

I know I am not supposed to threaten the WS or make demands, but are there exceptions?

See, I told my H that he was free to make his own decision between me and OW. He says he wants to stay with me cause it's the "right" thing to do, but his heart belongs to OW.

I'm fine with this (well not really), but I know he's just in a fog right now. Thing is, I told him if he did choose OW I would do everything in my power to take our kids away from him. Not out of spite or meaness, but because I believe it would destroy our children to know their father left mom for their aunt. What would OW become then? Aunt? Stepmom?

Did I do wrong? Is this considered a LB? He says he understands, but I don't know if he really does.

lcg,

My deepest sympathies for your situation. Having two of the slosest relationships a person can have so damaged at once must be one of the hardest things in the world. In my situation, I work with the OM so it similar, but not even close to being like it was a sibling. My heart goes out to you.

In response to your question, I'm not nearly as qualified to answer as many of the vets here, but I would say it is not an LB. My understanding that you are allowed to have boundaries and you are being honest. I think that LBs can sometimes fall into the "It's not what you say, it's how you say it" category.

bump

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lcg_25:
<strong>

See, I told my H that he was free to make his own decision between me and OW.

Thing is, I told him if he did choose OW I would do everything in my power to take our kids away from him. Not out of spite or meaness, but because I believe it would destroy our children to know their father left mom for their aunt. What would OW become then? Aunt? Stepmom?

Did I do wrong? Is this considered a LB? He says he understands, but I don't know if he really does. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, that is not a lovebuster. A lovebuster is an angry outburst, disrespectful judgement or a demand. That is none of those. He needs to know that there will be consequences if he leaves. Plan A doesn't mean you protect him from the consequences of this affair.

I agree with Mel...

Definitely not a LB. Don't beat yourself up over this.

Your situation makes me cry. Your own sister! I'd like to say "now I've heard everything" - but like the Bible says, "there is nothing new under the sun". That makes me sad. It means that we are going thru things that have happened before, and will happen again in this world.

Be strong. I know it's hard. Everyone here gives you their support, I know. Remember, nothing is hopeless. Things change. God will give you rest.

(((((((((((HUGS FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN))))))))

K

man, does my heart go out to you. even with the hell im going thru (ow could be my twin) i still couldnt see a sibling doing something like this. i dont think that was an LB. just stating your boundaries. stay strong.

hi lcg,

You would be love bustign your children if you don't protect them from growing up in a confusing environment that began fr adultery!

I've read your posts when you were a junior member, and am glad that you had your baby safely. Dearie, you are so young, it must be tough to carry this awful burden. I hope all will turn out well for you and your children.

Stay strong and have faith.