Okay, lately I've been feeling weird cause H is finding reasons to leave the house to run "errands". This is how he would do it to meet with OW. So, I confronted him and he said there has been NC, but he has been driving by her house and even parked in the driveway to see if she'd come out to talk. He says he didn't have the balls to get down and knock on the door because supposedly she wants nothing to do with him. Claims she hates him after exposing A to me. Anyway, what the hell am I supposed to do about this? Do, I put my foot down and tell him this is unacceptable. Or do I let him do whatever? He wants c, I don't and neither does OW. At least I think OW doesn't, so she claims.

lcg - You've heard this before from me, so pardon the broken record.

Your husband is in withdrawal and YOU have to the rational one for both of you for a while.

Let's put it bluntly...

NO CONTACT. Period. No excuses. Yes, it's hard and emotionally difficult to STOP an addictive behavior, but it's REQUIRED. Personally, I don't care if can be classified a "Love Buster" or not. NO Contact is the minimum that is "owed" you for the pain and suffering YOU have endured. Beyond that, there can be no lasting recovery, no healing, no relearning to trust and love again, as long as the OW in in the picture in any way.

Not going to go into the "relative aspect" now. We've talked about that before.

Bottom line....contact is UNACCEPTABLE and you will not (this is a choice YOU get to make) live the rest of your life looking over your shoulder. Your husband needs to CHOOSE also. Contact for whatever selfish reason he feels at the moment, or fidelity to you in all it's aspects. Not both, but one or the other, and you will base your future with or without him in reaction to HIS CHOICE.

The time for playing games is over.

UNLESS....you are seeing progress and are willing to endure the emotional kick in the gut that comes with every contact as he struggles to break free from the addiction. That is the course I took with my wife, and it took 2 years for her to "break free."

God bless.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The time for playing games is over.

UNLESS....you are seeing progress and are willing to endure the emotional kick in the gut that comes with every contact as he struggles to break free from the addiction. That is the course I took with my wife, and it took 2 years for her to "break free."
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am seeing progress, which is why I think I'm still hanging in there. He's been really affectionate lately, LOTS of sex, and just being plain nice. Which is why I don't get why he has to go mess it up and spy on OW. Grrrrrr <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

(((((lcg_25)))))

I know. It really sucks waiting for the disentanglement and the reprioritization of WHO is most important in his life.

Hang in there. It will get better.

God bless.