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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 9 |
I have a question.Do most WS(in my case a WH)think they want a divorce when really they don't? He is three months into his NC with her and says he loves me and always will but he thinks we may end up in divorce.He just a week ago started his meds.and says he is going to go to counceling before he does make a decsion and have anymore regrets. What confusses me is how he says he loves me and sometimes misses me but doesn't want to spend time with me. When asked why he wants a divorce he says he doesn't know. That if he had the answers that he wouldn't be so confussed about all of this.Could it be that just the mear looking at me is a turn off because it is a reminder of his A? How long does it take for the WS to see the BS for who they really are,not the enemy but the one that loves them as they are. I hope someone will answer these questions as they are driving me insane.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443 |
It sounds like the A or some sort of contact is still going on. Sounds like he is still fence sitting and in withdrawal.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416
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Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416 |
assuming the A is over and NC is really occuring...
The problem could be that in order to turn back and face you and stay married he must also face himself and his actions/choices and come to terms with them. I know this may sound strange but it is very hard to stay married after having an affair because, to really recover, one must face their actions and it is not a pretty site.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
We need more details. Are you sure there is NC. After 3 months he should be out of withdrawal, and growing closer to you.
Does he spend a lot of time away from home?
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 9 |
Believer- We are seperated and he is staying with his family.They say he is always there.When we talk it is because I call or go see him.He says he doesn't have time to miss me because I'm always there.That is why he nevers calls.If this is the end -How do you let go?
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