I'm still at my parents house in SC. There is no electricity at my house and the flooding is preventing me from getting back there.

My WH has called everyday several times to talk to our son. He hasn't asked about me or said one thing about me at all. I guess I'm dead to him right now. It's been good being home and talking to my parents about everything. They are so very hurt and upset with my H. I really see no future with my H. I'm going to let him go and he'll have to suffer what comes his way. I have to move on and find love again some day. I jusy have no hope for him in my life anymore. I really believe that he thinks I will always be here for him. I just can't put myself through this pain anymore.

Hey Tree!

I'm sorry to hear about your H. I know you must be hurting because of his attitude.

Do you know if your house is OK, other than power being off?

Now, there's Ivan to worry about!

What's going on here?

Hey!
Yeah, my house is ok. My friend just called and said that her neighborhood and mine may have o evacuate today because of flooding. We both have a riveer behind our houses and now they fear that it is going to flood. Great!!!! My H is taking care of my animals. I also have friends and neighbors keeping an eye on my house for me.
I guess once again I will have to go buy more food. We have lost more food in the last month!!! I hope Ivan takes a different route!!! Geez.....I can't take anymore!

I am very hurt about how my H has acted. I think it is best for me to try to move on with my life. I don't think I could ever forgive him for the things he's done and said to me. I just need to find someone who will treat me with respect and love me for who I am. It will be a very long and lonely road but I have to do what I think it right.

How are you doing???

Yikes! Will your house potentially flood?

Rivers where I live are horrible also. We had nearly 900,000 customers of the two local power companies without power for all or part of the long weekend. Many are still out (like your house).

Yes, I lost all my food too. I managed to save some of the refrigerator stuff, but there's nothing you can do about the freezer stuff.

Meanwhile, I just remembered that there are others in much worse shape...without roofs, without houses...it made it easier to bear.

So, I'm ok! Hope you stay put - where you are safe - until we know about Ivan.

<small>[ September 07, 2004, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: ISGirl ]</small>

Hi Tree ! * waves*

WH is behaving like a jerk in fog, but a STEREOTYPE jerk in fog. Many or most 'JERKS IN FOG' wake up and reconsider their M at some time. I'm not making this up - read , like, EVERY story on here !!!

I think you suffer from my disease " impatience" !

Consider you WH temprarily insane and concentrate on taking back the responsibility for YOUR happiness away from your H and back to you. This was a HUGE step in my progress when I did this. HUGE.

It allows to to view the situation less 'desperately' and you start to value yourself as an indivdual not as a wife/mother.

Forget fog jerk for a while and get YOU well. You are a beautiful, faithful lady , a great mom and a godly soul with EVERY RIGHT to walk proudly on this earth and to have happiness all your life.

Now my WW has been in my house over the same period that your WH has not BUT ot has not been nice time. She has hurt the kids and me at almost every opportunity. Plan A has not been easy BUT today after 2 months she has lifted her head above the fog for a short while, been scared and ducked back inside. And this was relatively early !

You make yourself all you can be as an independent woman, and plan B your Princess Di buns off. Won't be long till WH looks over your fence wondering what he's done....really...

{{{{TR}}}}
Be strong, baby. and know U deserve happiness with or without FJ

Hey Tree!

Worked my behind off this Labor Day weekend. Mandatory call-backs and hold overs for almost everyone. Didn't get much sleep. But my house, well I should say my WW house, is fine. Only lost power for a short period.

After working nearly the whole weekend and half of labor day, when I got home the WW couldn't even ask me how it was. No she went straight to complaining about everything. Then she left and spent the night at her "friends" house. She told the kids she was leaving by talking out the car window while driving down the street.

She just came home today in time to eat dinner, and complain somemore. She spent 4500 minutes on her cellphone last month talking to OM in Arizona.

Yes, Tree. Your right I think your WH does believe you will always be there for him. He probably thinks if this fantasy doesn't work out he can always come home again. Even if he doesn't admit it, I know he is thinking it.

But, sometimes, you can never go home again.

Good luck Tree. I feel like the proverbial whipping post.

Tree,

I don't think I could ever forgive him for the things he's done and said to me. I just need to find someone who will treat me with respect and love me for who I am. It will be a very long and lonely road but I have to do what I think it right

Don't confuse forgive with forget. I doubt that any BS on this site is beyond forgiving, we wouldn't be here if that were the case. I know in my case I could not get beyond what my WW was doing and saying until I truly believed that it was not being done to me, just whatever H was with her at this time. I am sure in your instance the same factor has occurred.

I know I have gotten some flak ( and laughs) over my hanging a picture of my WW in the arms of the OM in my offices, but that has really forced me to deal with reality. When you start dealing with reality, you have started that journey towards that new life that MUST occur. I pray your relationship can renew but like all of us, the M we knew is dead and hopefully buried properly.

You are a beautiful lady and some day that heartache will end. If your WS decides he wants to be part of your future and you also still want him, then so be it. The only real loser in this equation is him.

Hang in there, our prayers are with you

Yep tree - you just have to pretend (that's not too hard) that he has been abducted by aliens, and is not in his right mind.

Then get on with your life. The only thing I regret in all of this is that I sat around crying for way too long.

Cymanca, your right. Forgiving, does not mean forgetting. That is what my WW confused. This is not the first time she has been wayward, or lied, or ran up huge hidden debt. Each of those times scarred me, and remembering brought me pain. I forgave her, but how can you forget having your heart broken, or being stabbed in the back? I could even forgive her now.

My WW always confused her saying she's sorry with me being "over it". If she said she was sorry I should just get over it.

BTW, Wish I had a decent picture of WW and OM to hang up too. By decent I don't mean well focused, I mean something that isn't bordering pornographic. Its amazing what people do on webcams these days.

<small>[ September 07, 2004, 08:16 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

HI Tree.....hope when you get home, your house will be as you left it.

I miss your emails, talk with you soon.

A/C0810

Tree,

I heard this morning that Frances has made her way to South Carolina and there are storms and power outages. Hopefully you aren't impacted by loss of power!

Hi everybody! Thanks for the responses.
We still have power here but up the road they don't ....tornado hit! I will be heading back home on Friday. I miss my animals and friends but I'm not looking forward to being a lone again. I've only cried twice since I've been here.
My H is just so far gone I don't see how he will ever come back. He's already asking me if my parents can co-sign with me on our home so he can get his name off of it. He just wants to get rid of me...I don't understand that!!! He thinks he's happy and keeps telling me that he is here to help me find peace. Yeah right!!!! He seems like he's just as happy as he can be. He's still living with is brother which I'm sure is going to get old soon. My sister-in-law likes her privacy!
None of his family seems to really care about what is going on. He says they all support him and just want him to be happy. I'v been with his family for 17 years....how can they treat me like this? I am so lost!

My H sent me and email last night about a book he thinks I should read...somethng about "spiritual divorce". What the hell is he talking about? I wrote him back and suggested that he read the bible!

Uggghhhhhh...I'm so confused! I just want to be happy and have someone to love me!

Tree,

Ugh! I just searched for this book. Sounds like your H is trying to teach you the "benefits" of divorcing and having a "happy life." Ugh, Ugh, Ugh!

Spiritual Divorce

I know! He's screwed up bigtime!!!!

Hi Tree and Others,

Well, here comes Ivan, #3 heading in the direction of Florida, if the projections are to believed.

Tree, don't know if you want to head home yet. This path might also go through Orlando <sigh>.

This is a VERY scary storm!

Ivan looks like it will go to Florida also.....geez....this is just NOT my year is it?
My parents are supposed to take me home tomorrow night but not sure if we will leave or not. What a mess!

My H calls my son everyday and never even asks how I am. That really hurts me. It's ike I've just dropped off the face of the earth. I just don't understand how he can do that to me.

Tree,

I SO empathize. This is the third storm to hit our state and the third time my WH has considered his affair and his affair partner more important than his residence, his wife, his dog or his marriage.

Sure puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

I might be slow, but I'm "getting it" -- finally. There are no feelings left for me. The feelings are for the OW. That's why he is there, that's why he remains there, even through storms that can cause massive property damage and personal damage as well.

I know how you feel! I really do!!! I guess OW is more important than my H's son and wife and animals and home and everything else in the world.
I am so angry that he would put some tramp before us!
Damn homewrecker!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is a ong by Gretchen Wilson called..Homewrecker...that I would love to send to the OW!
Ugghhhh!
Hang in there....I'm right with ya! Where do you live in Florida? Tampa? I think you already told me but my mind is gone right now....I know you can relate! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Tree,

Yeah, my mind is pretty gone too.

Southeastern Hillsborough County...right outside of Tampa.