Yes I got the support hearing tommorrow morning ....Just heard from Meagan alittle while ago....She said OM just pulled out WW and OM had another fight.......WW called me this morning twice........once about Sons Pics and The second time about Meagans appointment next week for dentist........I told WW that I would see her tommorrow morning and she said she proble won't get anything any way because I had meagan most of the time....Out of 230 days I have had meagan 168 nights and WW 62 nights,........I want to be pleasent to WW for 3 more weeks .......She has to see that she can trust me again....I need to gain her trust..........I bet OM does not know that WW is calling me............We are not talking about us just the kids....3 months ago she was starting to trust me when I called up on OM about Driving without a lience that is when all the **** started.........I will not mess with OM again..........He will mess up on his own............I got a plan now and I am going to stick to it...........

Frank, what do you mean by "trusting" you? Trusting you to do what? You haven't had an affair, have you?

You are still planning on going into Plan B, right? I think this week is an excellent time.

Frank,

It seems you are getting caught up in your WW's drama again. I think that is what Melody is getting at. You are getting sucked back in, but without what you need from her. She is having trouble with OM and is leaning on you.

She needs to get into trouble with OM and then realize what she has lost. She needs to feel the consequences and earn her way back into your life, and your protection - otherwise it will not be lasting.

Melody is right, it is not your trust she needs to earn, it is the loss of you that she needs to experience in order to appreciate what she had.

But good luck to you tomorrow at the hearing. Hang in there!

Weaver

Frank,
What do mean with the "trust" comments? Have you done anything to cause her not to trust you? I thought it was the other way around.

You have provided a safe home for your D, offered to let your W visit at your home and been reliable and accomodating (more than I would like to see) with your W regarding her visitation.

Where is the breach of trust from you?

As your W said, you are the one keeping your D the most time. In my opinion, your D should not ever be going to the OM's house anyway.

I will pray for a fair and safe outcome from the hearing, Ladysing

what do I mean in "TRUST".......Well 4 months ago we started to talk and she started to tell me things to trust in me so to say.........Ofcourse Our trust was broken when she left with other man.....In Dr. James Dobson book "Love must be tough" (I read In week eight)You lose two things in a brake up Trust and Respect...........for each other.......We need to earn back each others trust and respect before I go dark again......In the past 7 or 8 weeks we have been at war so to speak........I want her to see me in a different light before I turn it off.........Am I right or wrong.........Trying to reexstablish the light house.........The OM is doing just what I want right now.......being a [censored].......She still does not see that but I want to be the lighthouse...........

Frank, you have never been at war with her. She has been at war with YOU. You have simply been standing up for yourself and your daughter for once. Not being a doormat is not warring with her, it is simply acting like a man who protects his family.

You don't have to reestablish trust or respect because you have done nothing to lose it. SHE HAS.

You have already done a superb Plan A and prolonging Plan B will only jeopardize your situation. She needs the motivation to come back. Give her that motivation, Frank, before it is too late.

That is what I am asking........I am not an exspert.......just trying to do this right....I would take her back if i got chance......

OK Frank,
I think I understand what you are saying. You feel that your mutual trust was broken when she left you. What was broken was your mutual relationship, your mutual closeness, that is what you want back, to establish a mutual closeness.

She broke your trust in her, you did not break her trust. What happened is that the relationship was broken which in effect caused all of your communication as a couple to break down. This is not your fault, nor do you have to feel the you need to do anything to rebuild "trust". It's just the word that I think we were getting hung up on.

Just get through tomorrow and hold your head up. She has acted irrationally in wanting you to take those stupid tests and she is grasping at anything to make you look bad. She knows full well that you are the responsible parent and I believe that the judge will see that also. You are a man who has stood up for his family and the OM is going to look like a pathetic alternative in court...

God bless you guys you have been there for me through all this choas...I am going to bed and will read my bible tonight like I HAVE BEEN DOING FOR 7 MONTHS thanks again everyone you are all in my prayers........

God Bless ya, Frank! Sleep tight, my good friend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

update Frank? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Frank,
It's been 2 days since the hearing...I'm worried about you!