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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 271
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 271 |
Hi WW and I are planning "PLAN B" together (mainly due to her continued contacts with OM and lack of openness / honesty about the A). Plan A has not worked exactly as I had hoped, although I do see signs of regret at times when we have connected, but these are fleeting moments of sanity.
WW has been hoping that we can continue to live together as a couple / roomates indefinitely, but I am not having any of this, especially whilst OM contact continues. The result is that WW wants me to help her find accomodation, find and purchase a motor vehicle, assist her move out when time comes. My question to you more experienced folk is should I help her, as I am finding that my kindness is seemeing to pierce the thick fog, or should I let her do it on her own? strange comment from WW was, you still want top help me after all that I have done to you?
Thoughts / advice appreciated bearing in mind that I myself do not know what I want out of the relationship at present (I am very confused).
<small>[ September 07, 2004, 07:40 PM: Message edited by: RenaissanceMan ]</small>
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
RM, Plan B is something that you do solo FOR YOU. It is a tactic that is designed to do 2 things: protect you and hopefully bring an end to the affair. It is not something that is ever discussed with the WS. The only thing you would discuss with the WS is that you need to seperate because the affair is painful and is eroding the love you have for her.
As far as her moving out, she should pay for it all. You should never finance her affair. She needs to do this all alone. But, by all means, help her move some of her furntiture to her new place. If she wants to be a single woman, then she must get her own car, own apartment all on her own. You don't want to protect her from the consequences of her choices.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 271
Member
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 271 |
ML - As you suggested, WW is not aware of plan B or what it is. All WS is aware of is that I am no longer willing to keep living the way we are and she has agreed to move out.
I wasn't sure if I should help in terms of helping her find a car(her paying for it), and finding the apartment (again her financing it).
I guess that I have a vested interest in trying to save WS money as in the long run it will probably cost me via any potential settlement anyway.
<small>[ September 08, 2004, 12:45 AM: Message edited by: RenaissanceMan ]</small>
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