I just looked at a fax dated 17MAR04. Know what that day is? St. Patty's day, my younger sisters B-day and the day my wife kissed the OM for the first time. He wrote her a beautifal poem in celebration of the event.

How long is this pain going to go on ?? I almost started screaming at work. It is a good thing I work with family whom I could vent to for a few minutes or I would have started punching things.

I cannot believe the anger that I feel. You all know the feeling. Every muscle tightens, shortness of breath, the world seems to focus a bit tighter.

I know there is a lot of pain on this board, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how people can knowingly cause this much pain. I never before believed in the insanity defense for criminals, why now do I have to accept it for my wife? Why in the world does she deserve a break? I offered her my heart and soul and she $hit on the both of them. Now, she stills sees the OM, plans to move away from her kids and husband, has no intenetion of woking more hours (not true, just venting here), and is going on oral birth control so she does not have to use condoms any more with the OM!!!!!! Blind rage. Blind rage blind rage. I even have a little tunnel vision.

How am I supposed to talk to her? How am I supposed to act like I am O when I have to think to breath? How?

Had to vent, and I do not feel any better cause of it.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Oh how I remember those feelings. I am so sorry. It seems impossible now, but you WILL make it through this. Maybe you could write your own little poem, even if you are not a poet. I wrote a couple in the worst of my anger. One was hilarious because I cussed in it non-stop, and I never cuss. I let my sister read it and her eyes got as wide as saucers and then she laughed hysterically. The whole time I referred to OW as a H*-B****, something I'd never say outloud. The other one was serious, and rather good, at least I think so. It was called "Like Honey". Maybe one day I'll post it. It can be therapeutic and you'd be surprised how much creativity can come out of blind rage! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Once again, I am SO sorry you are going through this right now. Just try to BREATHE! Deep breath in...deep breath out... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />