Last night ny FWH wrote the OW the 'Good-Bye Letter". When he told me I was nearly weak with relief - and I am pleased. I believe it is an important step in our recovery. I even posted ib the 'grateful' topic about it.

But...I asked him about the content. He told me that he wrote that he would 'miss the e-mail chats they had had'.

Now, I don't want to be a brat, but it does take away something for me. I think it was unrealistic to think he would go by the book (Harley) and say that I deserved better than I had gotten. And I should probably just be happy she's out of the picture (I know, don't think there can't be relapses). But, there's a part of me that longs to see her get what should be coming to her. And I don't think that will ever happen.

Has this happened to others? How do you eact, cope, etc. I didn't complain, but I've thought about it all day.I don't want to ruin what I know was very hard for my H to do.

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Me - BS - 49, Him - FWH - 43 Married - 20 yrs.
PA- 15 months D-Day - 5/8/04
E-contact resumed 8/10/04, Discovered 8/24/04
NC - 9/3/04, Good Bye letter 9/7/04
DD-18, DS-15, DS-9

You are not being a "brat". You needed to read the letter, even write it with him.

I think you definately need to see this letter. You are going only by his word, and you need to know that he ended it completely, with no waiting in the wings crap, no taking a break to see if marriage can be saved, and -

that he is ending it completely, totally because he loves you.

I would need to see it, and you should too.

Weaver

Well, could be worse - He could have said he will always love her, blah, blah, blah. Missing the email chats is very mild.

So be happy thay he wrote the NC letter even though it was not perfect.