I found out about my husband being unfaithful on our 8th anniversary. We were visiting our inlaws and he dissappeared. The next morning he showed up and that's when everything started sinking in.

Not only was I angry, but hurt as well. I'm thinking what in the world did I do to deserve this. I never blamed myself for his lack of morals, but it still hurt.

The following morning after the kids left for school (daughter 15 -son 11) I started packing my clothes. I wanted out. I was tired of it all, me being alone at night for the last eight years due to him working midnights has gotten old. He's a supv for Chrysler so he has always worked long hours 7 days a week which has finally taken it's toll.

It's as if we had become to settled with each other. I ended up traveling by myself or with the kids but hardly together as a couple. I found myself becoming envious of my cousins with their spouses because no matter what function they were there while husband was working. (Money isn't everything)

Well after husband saw me packing he panicked. He confessed everything about how he slept with this woman about 4 years ago and then had oral sex with her on our anniversary. This was the first time I ever slapped my husband. I literally tried to slap his eyeballs out. I was soo angry and felt betrayed.

He says they only slept together once and had oral sex 4 times. Do I believe him not really, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over him either. I love him ,but I don't love him like I use to.

He begged and pleaded with me to give us another chance. He told me how sorry he was for hurting me this way. He told me that he finally turned his life around when he went to church on Sunday and felt that the preacher was talking to him.

I know God can change anything and anyone. I know his power is awesome and I believe in him. I had to pray and ask him for guidance to show me what my path should be and to help me make the right decision.

Two weeks has passed and I do see a big change. I still fell anger sometimes, but I refuse to dwell on it because I don't want to destroy myself.
I don't blame myself nor do I hate myself because of what he did. If anything I know I deserve better and so do my our son and daughter.

Only time will tell but I'm definitely not crying over him anymore. God is my strength and thru him I know I'm going to make with or without husband.

myheart, hopefully you 2 plan on getting into counseling to find out what has led to his affair. If it is not addressed, this is bound to jeaopardize the marriage. A really good book that might be helpful is Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley.

God Bless and welcome to Marriage Builders. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MelodyLane:
<strong> myheart, hopefully you 2 plan on getting into counseling to find out what has led to his affair. If it is not addressed, this is bound to jeaopardize the marriage. A really good book that might be helpful is Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley.

God Bless and welcome to Marriage Builders. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks.

I know why he cheated as I stated on the other board. We were so seperate from one another. Him working 7 days a week and me doing my own thing we became distant.

He confessed, I was pissed and upset. Thankfully although I'm a sahm I'm very dependent and know I could have left without any regrets. The only thing that stopped me was not really wanting to break up my home. He messed up not me. I'm not blaming myself for his screw up, I'm not holding my head down nor do I blame the other woman because HE went to her.
He pleaded for me to give me another chance which I did.

ONe thing I have always prayed and asked God was to never keep me in the dark. If something was going on please reveal it to me and sure enough he did.


Only God knows if we'll make it or not. I believe in my heart that we will. H seems to think he will. He says he stopped living for Satan and started living for God.
We have a long way to go. I know with God on our side everything will work out, but now I'm starting to wonder why I stayed with him for 8 years. I love him but not as I did before. He took something away from me that I don't think I'll ever give to him again.

Sometimes it's as if satan is tempting me to have an affair and that's not my style. It's as if I'm fighting a spiritual battle.

<small>[ September 09, 2004, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: myheartwillsurvive36 ]</small>

This board suggest spending a minimum of 15 hours a week together doing fun things. Can you do that?

Also your husband needs to write a no contact letter to other woman, saying that he loves his wife, wants to work on the marriage, and doesn't want contact ever again for any reason. Then you should approve and mail it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Only God knows if we'll make it or not. I believe in my heart that we will. H seems to think he will. He says he stopped living for Satan and started living for God.
We have a long way to go. I know with God on our side everything will work out, but now I'm starting to wonder why I stayed with him for 8 years. I love him but not as I did before. He took something away from me that I don't think I'll ever give to him again.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It is true that only God knows, but we are free willed people and you need to committ to making it work if you want your Marriage to survive. Turning it over to God helps but only if you put the work into it as well.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kloe72:
<strong>
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It is true that only God knows, but we are free willed people and you need to committ to making it work if you want your Marriage to survive. Turning it over to God helps but only if you put the work into it as well. </strong>[/QUOTE]

Kloe your right about that. I know I have to be committed to this also but honestly I feel torn. One side of me wants to make it work while the other side of me wants to walk.

I feel like a bag of confusion