My SIL is 2 yrs. past her d-day. She was the BS. She told me the other day she wished she had been on an AD, but did not know about this MB site and her therapist never recommended it.

Anyname, I went from 20 mg of Lexapro to 10 mg Lexapro and 150 mg of Wellbutrin XL. My doctor originally prescribed the Lexapro. When she added the Wellbutrin it was a formulation that really made me wired. Wellbutrin is not good for anxiety, but as I said I'm generally laid back. That is when I saw a psychiatrist. When you start getting into combining and fine tuning meds you should see a psychiatrist. She immediately knew what Wellbutrin to put me on. It has improved my sexual functioning. I'm not where I want to be, but it is better. Eventually I want to cut the Lexapro down to 5 mg. I just saw the psych and for now we both agreed I should stick with this combo. Hope that helps. CV

Suggesting someone see a physician to talk about anti-d’s is not the same as offering someone acid at a party.

People who have chemical imbalances are not using meds as a crutch. They’re using them to restore their chemical balance. Thinking of meds as a crutch puts depression back into the “you should be ashamed of yourself” taboo category. People should not be made to feel ashamed of going for help with any problem. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It takes strength to ask for help.

When choosing a physician and meds, a person has to be a good consumer and choose wisely. If you don’t like one doctor, find another. If one medication doesn’t help, try another - whether it be prescription, otc, herbal, whatever.

A good consumer also makes a point to become informed. Be what is called “pro-active” in your healthcare decisions. Do research. Read articles. Talk to professionals. Find out what your options are. If meds are not for you, don’t take them, but “get help somewhere,” as the old public service announcement once suggested.

When reading advice on an anonymous message board, take what is helpful for you and leave the rest.

Painter,

I didn't beleive in Counseling (bringing 3rd person into my family issues) and I didn't beleive in AD (only for nuts).

Well ... if I listened and tried MC right after her first A, I would not be Dv'ed or at least will not waste 5 years of my life tryin on my own. ... if I learned my lesson quick, SH told me to get AD if I need to (I need it!, I have tummy knot every minutes and I am not a man of steel). I hestitated for 6 months doing plan A w/o it and brace through the pain ... I gave in and took it one week before I got serve. It is a give from God, I was calmed on the 3rd day and when I got served I could live throug it.

This time in your life is not "normal" situation, I rather bite a bullet than shallow this A. We need help !. Support from peoples that has been through it and understand us <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . Coaching from MC to try to salvage what's left in your M. Medication if our doctor and our body tell us that IT CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Just my 2¢ -rh-

<small>[ September 10, 2004, 02:22 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Painter:
<strong> I thought I was going to get beat-up for sure over this one...

I realize ADs are not OTC, but if you know where to go and who to ask it's way too easy to get samples without any evaluation. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I haven't posted here in a couple of years but I had to chime in here. I agree they are handed out too easily.

With regards to the efficacy and application of these drugs it is not so black & white. In my case I would prefer not to have to take an AD; however, I have had lifelong issues (since early teens, I am now 42) with depression and it runs in my family. My depression was rarely situational which is why I could never understand why I felt like I did. In fact, it was my refusal to properly address this problem which almost destroyed my marriage, as opposed to marital issues creating the depression. I attended counseling for almost a year before accepting the fact I have a physical issue which causes my depression. I have now been on ADs for over 4 years and have not been depressed in this time. This is the longest I've gone in my whole life without an epsiode of depression and my episodes ranged from months to a year or more! I feel "normal" now. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else. I laugh, cry, and emote just like everyone else. The difference now is that I do all of this in the same bandwidth as everyone else.

ADs are not for everyone but for me I believe they saved my life and continue to do so. I hope someday science will understand my condition enough for me to move beyond just "managing" it to actually curing it. Until then I'll have to risk any long term effects of the medication, because without it my life would be miserable. If you told me these meds would cut 10 years off of my life I would say that is preferable to being miserable for the rest of my life.

I think it is fine to utilize ADs for situational depression but I would never recommend indefinite use unless you need them as in my case.

NL4M

<small>[ September 10, 2004, 03:26 PM: Message edited by: NewLife_4Me ]</small>

One other consideration before going on AD's or being diagnosed as depressed is that your insurance may go up with that label and you may have to put your history it on any apps. for insurance as well as job applications.

I did go on AD's a couple of times..8 month each. My insurance did go up even though I tried to explain that it was situational. I became a greater risk to them.

I have since used SamE and homeopathics with good results. I don't know how those would have helped when I was in my lowest lows and not being able to eat or sleep. It got pretty scary when it seemed like my body was shutting down to die..of a broken heart...I guess...with my having little control over it. I was put on Serzone, studies are now saying that isn't all that safe...

I wasn't sure what I needed when this first started. I went a couple of weeks without telling anyone what was going on. I knew I needed something and AD came to mind. Through my own pain, I cautioned myself to AD's, not too mention I didn't want to go see a doctor. I guess reality of the situation hadn't sunk in yet.

I did a little research once I realized I was in a tailspin. I wanted something over the counter that appeared to be natural. I was figuring Ma Nature had something. I did find St John's Wart and read about how other countries are using it, accesible over the counter, etc. I decided to give it a try.

I'm not sure of the exact reactions but what I do know is that between a combination of....

St John's Wart
Actually eating something
Taking my normal vitamins
Exercise
Marriage Builders

....I was able to focus at work, put together a plan and work towards bettering myself and my situation.

Although nine weeks later there are moments of hurt and pain, I can continue and I can/will get through this. One post spoke of tears, pain, hurt, etc. all being natural. I agree. Hell, I'm 38 and only cried at the National Anthem (silly, I know but....). I only cried for about one minute when my dear Mother passed away this year. A few weeks after D-day, I lost it driving home listening to a particular song - what a revelation! I felt better than I had in a long time. Went a couple days and forced another cry. Better still.

The relief and clarity I had after crying proved (at least to me) that God has his own way of applying AD.

Good post Painter and certainly thought provoking........LS

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Trix:
<strong> One other consideration before going on AD's or being diagnosed as depressed is that your insurance may go up with that label and you may have to put your history it on any apps. for insurance as well as job applications.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good point about the insurance; however, I don't think those kind of questions are allowed on a job app anymore, and believe me I've filled out a lot of them in the last four years when the tech industry slumped!

I upped my personal life insurance policy before I started counseling. It can be an issue with insurance. The sad thing is I was more of a risk before I went on the meds and I had no problem getting insurance. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

CV, Now I can say I know one person here who can recommend ADs. Thanx for adding you thoughts here.

lostsailor, Thank-you for your story! Thats part of what I'm talking about!

NewLife do I know you?

Again thanx all, this isn't going the direction I intended, but its cool to see how y'all are responding.

I chose not to go on anti-depressants or any other artificial substances.

Have there been times when I have considered it? Yeah, but I figure that life ran me into a brick wall and I had to use what I had inside to pick myself up. At times, I have wished for a substance to take it all away but the A happened and for me taking a drug would not change that fact. I have always had the ability to pick myself up and dust myself off and go about my life (one of the things my Mom says she admires most about me). This has been the hardest thing I have had to do but I feel that I am doing it on my own.

Most of the people I work with are on anti-depressants and they are some of the most unhappy, flat people I have ever met. I don't want to be dulled, I want to feel, even if it is the most pain I have experienced. Yes, I have driven my husband crazy and been a pain in the [censored] a lot, but he shrugs it off and says that it is the price he has to pay for his actions, but he has been very supportive and when I have asked if he wanted me to go on medication, he had emphatically, said "No!"

I am almost two years past d-day now and we have a much better, happier relationship than we have ever had. It has been the hardest thing I have gone through (and I have been through a lot) but I feel I am starting to come out the other side and things are going to be okay. I am a survivor!

For those who chose medication and it works for you, that is great. I just wanted to say that it is an individual choice. Be proactive, learn about all the options, then choose what is best for yourself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ September 10, 2004, 07:49 PM: Message edited by: boobyprize ]</small>

I suffered from mild to severe depression most of my adult life [until I cleaned up my diet] and went on anti-d's in 1996. They helped my depression, however, I not only do not remember that year, but I did not feel any joy anymore. I was sort of like the walking dead. That year is blacked out.

When I quit the anti-d's, my depression came back full force. What ended my life long depression was not Paxil, but regulating my blood sugar. I had low blood sugar and was borderline hypoglycemic. When I cut out sugar and starches, my depression evaporated. I started feelings of joy. I have since read studies that link depression to sugar.

Now, I am not saying that this is the cause of depression in everybody, but it WAS the cause of mine and I was very grateful to have discovered this. I think there are many different causes of depression, though.

Fast forward to 1999; my H of 20 years left me. A few months later, my son was killed. Amazingly, while I was deeply traumatized, I did not become depressed like I did back in 1996. I could handle my trauma.

My point is that I think that doctors sometimes overlook simple solutions like diet and are too quick to prescribe drugs for what might be a nutritional problem.

ML,

The body is an amazing organism, isn't it? Billions of people on Earth and not one is exactly the same.

I am glad that you found a nutritional answer to your problems.

Be PROACTIVE! There is so much research out there that no health care provider (no matter how wonderful)has a chance of keep up on everything. The more you learn about YOU the better you can assist in your own healthcare. Congratulations, ML!

Cathy

<small>[ September 10, 2004, 08:40 PM: Message edited by: boobyprize ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MelodyLane:
<strong> I suffered from mild to severe depression most of my adult life [until I cleaned up my diet] and went on anti-d's in 1996. They helped my depression, however, I not only do not remember that year, but I did not feel any joy anymore. I was sort of like the walking dead. That year is blacked out.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have tried the diet thing and have had my blood sugar tested. In fact one of the most depressive episodes I ever had was when I was in the best physical shape of my life, eating right, running several miles a day, r-ball 3 days a week.

I have heard people talk about being dull but I've had exactly the opposite reaction. I feel alive. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> In fact I was so accustomed to feeling like crap I actually asked my counselor if the way I was feeling was OK! My work productivity went up, I slept better, and I am now working on my PhD. Before I was a basket case and it got worse as I got older.

YMMV

I will agree with some others that I think Dr's hand out A/D's to just about anyone anymore.

However, I am on them and have been on and off for several years. Like someone else who posted earlier on here, clinical depression runs in my family. My mother has also been off and on A/D's for years (she felt they were "bad" and resisted until she couldn't stand life any longer). She's on them now and probably will be for the rest of her life, but we can all stand to be around her now. If her doctor wouldn't have given them to her, I think she would have driven us all away.

My situation: I have generalized anxiety problems, and then they get the best of me and I get depressed. It happened a few years ago for NO reason. Things were great. I thought I had stomach cancer, because I couldn't eat, couldn't function, had terrible stomach pain and stabbing pains in my chest. Dr. put me on A/D's (took several to find one that I could tolerate), and within a couple months I was better.

Been off...been on. It's hard for me to rationalize that I need them, because I feel like I should be trusting God for everything. Mental illness has a huge stigma attached to it, and that's unfortunate. I finally have become okay with taking them because I've rationalized: I have migraines--do I just trust God to take them away? Nope! I take Imitrex and I'm thankful He helped it be discovered. I feel the same about A/D's now. Neither condition (migraine or depression/anxiety) is generally life-threatening. But both can be quality-of-life killers. Why suffer, if God has helped something that is LEGAL be developed that is helpful?

Was actually on a very low dose of Celexa when STBXH's A started. I tried to maintain on that, but the anxiety was too much. So Dr. upped my dose. I've since switched to Lexapro, which I like very well.

As for side effects, mine are minimal. I think my sexual function is okay (maybe slightly diminished) but I'm not in a relationship, so that's probably good. Other than that, I DO NOT feel flat emotionally. I can actually be quite animated. Ask my coworkers. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I cry when I'm sad, or at sappy movies, or if something triggers a memory. I laugh as much as I ever did, which isn't all that much because I'm more serious. My sense of humor stinks.

The only think I notice is that I think it affects my concentration a bit. I'm a little more of an airhead than I used to be. We have joked at work about some of my irrational health fears, so my answer to my coworkers as to why I'm a spacecase is that I have Mad Cow Disease.


LL

I think the health insurance caution mentioned earlier is important to note. It makes you a person with a pre-existing condition should you ever be shopping for your own healthcare.

also....melodylane mentioned
"My point is that I think that doctors sometimes overlook simple solutions like diet and are too quick to prescribe drugs for what might be a nutritional problem." and not only can nutritional elements be involved BUT also hormonal elements. Hormone receptors play a big role in depression.

I have a friend who was diagnosed as bipolar years ago, and who has been on a number of medications. He has researched medications extensively, and has found that the "success" rate of most of them is only slightly higher than that of placebos.

What bothers me is the propensity of many posters to recommend AD's to BS's - most of whom are not clinically depressed. Over the 5 years I have been here, I have seen MANY welcome messages that included the recommendation to go on AD's.

An acquaintance of mine discovered that her depression was related to an allergy to gluten. I think far too many doctors prescribe AD's at the drop of a hat, because it is easier than trying to find out what is really wrong.

Boobyprize, you wrote "This has been the hardest thing I have had to do but I feel that I am doing it on my own." I'm not sure if I'm understanding you correctly, but do you mean that folks who choose to take an AD aren't "doing it on their own"? I know for a fact that AD or no AD I had to contend with a H who was in-love with another woman. I had to be strong as he&& and tell him he had to fire her or he was gone. I know I dealt with most of the crisis alone these months because H didn't leave me so I didn't out him. MB has been my main support. I know it was me who woke up with him in the middle of many nights and held him while he had panic attacks because he was withdrawing from OW. I could go on and on. The AD did not get rid of my pain. It cut my anxiety enough that I could think more clearly.

AS I wrote in my other post, this kind of trauma can effect a person's brain chemistry. It's great for the people who want to tough it out. I knew from my training that I had become clinically depressed. I chose to do whatever I could do to help me get through the hell. If I had stayed in that place of shaking and crying I'm not sure I could have done MB. The AD helped me at least get closer to who I was. It never dulled my feelings.

I do not push ADs on my clients. But when I begin to feel that a person might benefit I will suggest an evaluation. I tell them an AD won't make them happy or solve their problems. It might bring their mood to a normal level where they can then do the work necessary to change and grow.

I personally am glad people here and Harley suggested taking an AD. Because of my attitude of always coping without help, especially not the help of an AD, I would have never thought of it. We're not talking about people pushing ADs on folks who are having mild adjustment disorders, or grieving because they had a death in the family. I agree people need to deal with their feelings. However, an A is a trauma that often causes major depression and PTSD symptoms. An AD can be indicated as a proper treatment for those disorders. Bottom line, whether we are on an AD or not, As suck and the journey to recovery is hard as he**. CV

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I tell them an AD won't make them happy or solve their problems. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SOOOO true!

I have a coworker who DV almost 5 years ago. She also lost her mother to a stroke during that time. She's been on A/D after A/D and is still as cranky and unhappy as she was in the beginning...maybe more so.

She is seeing a therapist now and maybe that'll help. But in my opinion, she is looking for a miracle cure, without really putting forth much effort to change her ways. (Okay, credit to her...she's recently started to exercise and diet and I think she seems a little better.)

I am positive that in my case, I would not be where I am now were it not my faith that God somehow works all things for the good of those who believe. I have to tell myself, it may feel awful right now, but somehow I'm going to grow from it.

If I just took my A/D's and sat around and moaned about how life was treating me, I'm convinced I would feel no better, with or without the drugs. Calmer, maybe...but not happier.

But what they do for me is keep me from worrying myself into a neurotic frenzy where I can't eat, can't sleep, can't think rationally, etc.

I do want to get back off A/D's myself someday, but right now I'm afraid to. My tendency is to let myself get really anxious and depressed without realizing it until it's too late. Then it takes a long time for me to get back out of what I refer to as "the pit".

LL

CV,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm not sure if I'm understanding you correctly, but do you mean that folks who choose to take an AD aren't "doing it on their own"? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No! I would not be presumptious enough to say what is right for everyone else. It is about how I feel about myself and how I deal with things. I don't do medication, I rarely take even an asprin. But that is me probably from being raises a Christian Scientist. BTW, Mom never took any type of medication until she was 87, she will be 95 in November. So it is not for everybody.

I know all about the depression of the Affair. I have never been depressed, rarely even felt down until the affair. Since the affair, I have at times felt worthless, replaceable and all the other things a BS feels. During the lowest points, I even turned to cutting, something I hadn't done since I was 15. So, don't think I have had it easy either. I still have had a hard time dealing with everything but I have made a personal choice to do without medication.

Medication is great for some people but it is not a requirement for getting through this. It is a personal choice. So many people were explaining why they choose to take the medication, I thought I would pass along that not everyone should or wants to. Isn't that what this is: a board where people share what they feel and what has or has not worked for them? Sometimes, advice is polar opposite.

Cathy

Melody Lane, Your post is of great interest to me. I feel I should go on a/d's coz I'm really making a 'pigs ear' of recovery. I'm not a person with good coping skills.

My daughter, who is a medical doctor, is almost a clone of me. Depression has dogged her since puberty. My father suffers depression and I'm told he tried to take his life after he had an A.

My point is? We three all suffer with blood sugar problems (get's too low I think). It's a big problem for us all. We are all prone to depression. Actually my sister is on Zoloft and she also has the blood sugar thing.

Can you help me with more info on how you changed your diet. My daughter says her depression even affects her career opportunities because she makes decisions when she's deeply depressed.

I'm getting to the point of going back on a/d's just to get some relief from this nightmare. But like you, when i took Paxil, I wishdrew from interest in the world around me. When I came off it, I said I'd never take it again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Anyname, I was interested in what Mel said about low blood sugar as well. I get very, very grumpy if I don't eat at certain times. Friends used to laugh about it because at lunchtime I would have to eat before we went shopping etc or I was MEAN.

I've also suffered from clinical depression all my teen and adult life. I've been on and off A/Ds for most of that time. At the moment, as I think you know AN, I'm taking St Johns Wort. I don't know if it's working or it's being in control of my life that's working.

You also asked, AN, about my H and Paxil. He took it when he was made redundant about 5 years ago because he couldn't even function ie couldn't get out of bed, that sort of thing. The sexual side effects (being unable to orgasm) lasted for another 2 years after he was off it. He vows and declares he will never, never take it again. He was taking St Johns Wort and high dosage vitamin B after d-day and now only takes the high dosage vitamin B. And he's a box of birds - never seen him happier. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

BTW completely different topic but just for you AN, did you notice I restrained myself from even touching Boppo's thread. LOL.

Edited to add: Sorry, as usual, all about me. Seriously, AN, I would consider going to the doc and looking at natural (or even pharmaceutical) treatments for menopause and PMS AND depression.

Jen

<small>[ September 11, 2004, 12:48 AM: Message edited by: KiwiJ ]</small>