tea, 3 weeks is the "usual" period of time in NO Contact that it takes for the WS to get through the most intense parts of withdrawal. But withdrawal itself, the disentangling from the affair, can last a lot longer. In my wife's case it took 2 years.
One thing you need to understand is that the whole withdrawal "clock" gets reset to Zero after EVERY contact and you have to "start again."
I'm also going to take a very hard line here, so if you prefer not to hear cold hard reality, then stop reading.
Your "lover" is a "man of God." You imply that your husband and you are Christians. Now this is going to sound harsh, but sin cannot be "sugar coated" when someone appears to be lost in it's alluring tendrils. I don't care how you "feel," you MUST stop immediately because that is GOD's command. You must put in place immediately all the "barriers" and "extraordinary precautions" needed to end all possibility of any contact with the OM.
(The system 'lost' the rest of this post and I don't have the time right now to try to recreate it) So for now, let me simply say that you and the OM need to be obedient to God. The can be no contact between the two you, of any kind, or for any reason, for the rest of your lives.
You need trained Christian Marriage Counseling. If would like a list of trained biblical marriage counselors in your area, let me know and I'll post a link to a organization where you can search for counselors in your area.
Confess and repent to God if you have not as of yet, and He will forgive you and begin the healing process in your life.
God bless.
<small>[ September 11, 2004, 08:08 AM: Message edited by: ForeverHers ]</small>
