A question for all of the WW.

I am a very quiet person and always have been. I am not very emotional never have been until now. I am going through all of this (the affair) and this new feeling of being an emotional guy.
My wife and I talked about the language of our Marriage. We have been married for 14 years. In the beginning my lack of publicly displayed emotions was OK.

My wife knew that when I said “Me Too” to her “I love you” that it was very sincere and I had all of the emotions in me but didn’t express them verbally very well.

So the question’s:

When did you forget the language of the Marriage?

When did “Me Too” stop having its meaning?

I am now truly sorry that I did not recognize this before the A and it has been a breakthrough for my wife and I on this road to recovery. I will never say “Me Too” again. I am committed to making sure that her EN are met in a language that she understands today.


My First Post

So the question’s:

When did you forget the language of the Marriage?

When did “Me Too” stop having its meaning?

Good questions...

bumping up for attention

Pep

I agree that they are good questions. Anyone have an opinion?

When the need for converstation became one that could no longer be ignored, on both questions. When your actual input was needed, not monosyllable grunts.

"me too" is what my 10 year old dd says to me when I tell her I love her.

From a man, it wouldn't cut it.

I used to love it that my ex was such a good converstationalist. If I were to just mumble something back to him, he was hurt, and far from satisfied in his need for conversation, also his need for admiration. I also loved it that he started a lot of converstations regarding love and feelings.

Women need this Travel Fool.

BTW I too am very quiet, or used to be until I realized that other people can't read my mind, they need actual verbal input from me, including my friends and coworkers. Getting out of myself was something that was very hard for me because I was very shy, but I finally overcame it when I realized people thought I didn't like them, and that I was aloof, it was really quite the opposite, but how could they know? They never heard anything different from me, had nothing to go on but my silence.

Sincerely,

Weaver

<small>[ September 11, 2004, 03:26 PM: Message edited by: weaver ]</small>

I just re-read your post, and think I missunderstood.

You have already realized it wasn't enough, and wanted to know when other people realized it, right.

Well I realized it when I got lonely enough to wonder why I kept getting overlooked for others who were more outgoing and verbal. At work and at school. It was an incredible uphill climb for me to overcome my shyness. I love people, always have and have always been told how attractive I was, but rarely got asked out in school. No body used to sit by me if my good friends weren't around. Finally while crying to my mom and sister, they told me that people found me aloof and stuck up.

From there I began working on my shyness, even taking the Dale Carnegie "How to win friends and influence people" workshop.

Now when thoughts come in my head I try to blurt them out without thinking, the exact opposite of what I used to do. Which was think about them so much I would say nothing.

Of course I don't do this very often when I am angry or if I don't like someone, but sometimes I do.

Your probably sorry now I saw your thread, heh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Great insight Thanks.