i've been contemplating going to a divorce support group. For a couple of reasons. I don't know anyone in the area and I feel it *could* be a way to get to know some people who might understand what I'm going through.

These are my worries:
-I'm worried that I will be encouraged more towards a divorce but I've made a commitment to stay with this marriage until he either files or until I feel that I've done everything I can. I love my husband but more and more often find myself wondering if I should just throw in the towel. The one thing that always gets me through that thought is, "you made a commitment to him and to yourself. If this is the only commitment you manage to fulfill for the rest of your life, you will have something to be proud of." And so I stick with doing what I'm doing. I am a bit worried that I will allow others in similiar situations to influence my throughts towards not sticking by that commitment
-I'm worried about dwelling too much on my relationship situation. Yes, I have a commitment here, but I also have to "let go" to a certain extent because this pain is just too much. I can't keep living like this. I've limited my reading of these boards for this reason, because it keeps me dwelling. I'm worried that a group will do the same thing..but on the other hand might give me ways to STOP dwelling
-I'm worried about dating. lol. I am strong enough that I will not date. But one key to success is setting yourself up to succeed. I don't want to put myself in a situation where I'm confronted with other hurting men who approach me in an emotional way. I *think* I am strong enough, but why test myself that way? In other words, I'm worried that "divorce support group" is just a fancy way of saying "I can find soon to be single folks here who are emotionally needy"

I never see anyone here talking about these groups so I was wondering if any of you do or did attend and what the experience was like. Thanks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Maddy, I've thought of something like this too. I admire some of your comments and whole heartedly agree. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I also am suspect of what I'd find at a group like this. I'm going through the divorce process now. Wish I wasn't for the kids sake, but I have lost lots of respect and love for my WW.

You are right in that feeling of "moving on." You can only control your own actions, and not your WH. You can't let him control your life and how it proceeds. Work as long as you can for your committment, but also protect yourself. Both financially and emotionally.

Divorce support groups? I won't go, I have a marriage support group here. Even after I get the DV, I'll still want a marriage support group.

Looks like Ivan is drifting away, that makes me happy at least. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ September 12, 2004, 08:15 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Yes!! I feel for those in the panhandle..but I can't say I'm sorry that we won't even be seeing Ivan's a$$!!!

Now our get together can be called, "Ivan, the Plan B Days"
*giggle*

Guys,

Our church in St. pete has a divorce support group called Divorce Care. I think it is a nationwide program but since you guys are "locals" thought I'd throw it in. Let me know if you need some info.

BTW....where you guys go to watch football?

Doug

<small>[ September 12, 2004, 09:19 AM: Message edited by: d_rose ]</small>

um..football? Can't say as I go anywhere to watch that...grin.

d_rose..do you go to/utilize this support group? What are your thoughts? What is the environment like?

HI
I never went to and official divorce support group but did form my own divorce support group with a number of people in the UK from another BB like this one. We met about every three months for a meal and over night stop in a hotel for nearly 2 years and found the ability to share our problems in person, and encourage each other invaluable. We have all moved on but I keep in touch and meet with 3 others from the group even now- almost 3 years since we first met
Jante

Maddy,

I went there last year when it looked as if my wife and I were divorcing. It's foundation is based in the scripture but it isn't an "in-your-face-bible-thumping" program.

Divorcecare covers a wide range of topics throughout the 13 week course. The meet once a week for about 2 hours or so. Each week has a specific topic. Since the group is on a rotating schedule you can start any time and just stay with the group until the topics come back to where you began.

Although I don't attend the meetings our church did ask my wife and I to speak when the topics of forgivness and reconcilliation come around.

the divorcecare website has lists of support groups by zip code. Here is the link.

http://www.divorcecare.com

It felt wierd attending at first but after a half an hour or so I saw that even though I was there looking for help, I could also help others.

There is usually between 10-15 people at a meeting. They range from those wo are separating dealing with the possibility of divorce to thos long divorced that can't quite figure stuff out yet. I would recommend it (for what that's worth) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Check out the site and see if it is what you are looking for.

God Bless,

Doug