Being here I have learned so much about myself and my marriage.
Being here has been so painful, but the pain has been needed, for a long time.
I feel so angry. Angry at myself for my own responsibility in this mess. Sad at what has happened to my family. Heartbroken at the pain I have caused my H and my son.

I have been plan A for awhile, before I even knew what plan A was. I just wanted him to remember that I was still the same happy, loving person he fell in love with and started a family with.
But he is still with her. She is moving in right now as I type this. It is his weekend for visitation. She is moving her things into my home. Or what should be my home. He even had the nerve to tell me we might be able to work it out in the future. Who knows what will happen.
I swear I felt like grabbing him and shaking him.
Tuesday I file for custody and support. We havent filed for seperation or divorce. I refuse to. But with her moving in, he has this delusion that son will stay with them every other week and she can take care of son in AM and take him to school. Hell no. I was afraid he was going to be allowed to do this, so I did the research and lit a fire under my butt to take control and take care of my son and our rights.

Im thinking its time to move to plan B. He still thinks he can hang out over here whenever he wants. That he can just make himself comfy here while he goes home to her. He still calls me a million times a day. He still holds me and tells me there is a chance. He still has slept in the sam bed with me on occasion. We still have gone out socializing as a couple and held hands.

Just venting and trying to make sense out of it all.....I know I need to protect myself and my son from this mess. I just need to get control of my emotions and handle it.

Yes, Plan B now! No question that this is the perfect time.

You are doing great, and I am glad that you are going the legal route to keep your son away from OW. That is the last thing your son needs right now, and the last thing you need.

Bless you,

Weaver

Cookies,
Welcome to MB, sorry you have to be here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Do all the right people know about this A? Have you exposed it to everybody who might make a difference?

Your H is a cake eater. Playing you, and the OW, I'm sure she doesn't know all the things he is telling you. Maybe a call directly to her, with some of this information will put a cramp in their style. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

It sounds like Plan B is a good option for you. Your H is getting his needs met by both of you, if you stop meeting his needs, then she has to meet all of them.

She is obviously unable to do that, since he has continued being with you the entire time. This will put extra pressure on her, and the A. She will then have to meet all his EN and SN.

You must go very dark for Plan B to work. This is going to be hard on you, just keep focused on the grand plan, you can do this.

Since your H is calling you all the time, I'm guessing this is going to be very hard for him as well. Demand he respect your Plan B. Protect your feelings, and take care of yourself, and your son. Great job so far. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

KY

After a very long nap, I wrote the plan B letter.

When he came to drop son off, he came in and sat down. Didnt bring any of the paperwork I had asked him for, he forgot.
I asked if it would be ok to pick up the rest of my things while he was at work. He said no, not ok. He said he wouldnt let her touch any of my things. Well besides my home, my husband , my son and everything we built together. I didnt say that, but I thought it.

When he was leaving, I gave him the letter. He left and must have read it down the street. He called, kind of mad. Told me he is going to see his son everyday and there is nothing I can do about it. I said, I think you should see your son everyday. Just not at my house. Go see him after school.
He wanted to know what exactly I was filing for on Tuesday. I tried to keep it short, just getting our ducks in a row. He is angry now. Said I am trying to get over on him. Oh well...
I am just getting control of my life and making sure my son is taken care of.
Im so sad, but Im going to be ok. I havent cried since I woke up from my nap. I usually spend the whole day crying when my son is there with them.So that is an improvement.

Thanks everyone for your awesome replies and helpful advice.

You could really light a fire under his a$$ by putting in the custody agreement that when H has your child, no other adult is to stay under the same roof. You'd have to check with your lawyer about it though, as I think some states won't allow that, and others will.