It has been almost 3 months since DDay and WH and I are in recovery. A friend of WH said to him, "Don't get your hopes up...it's only temporary." The statement bothered him deeply. He asked me, "Is it temporary?" I said, "I am committed to trying."

On DDay, he ended both PA's, the longer relationship with OMW, he called and told her that he had told me every thing. She responded with "No! My H will kill me." WH apologized to her and OMW responded by wishing him well and hope he finds happiness with me. The other OW started the A with my WH while living temporarily with one of WH's friends. This OW continued the A with my WH and moved in with her boyfriend. During the A with my WH, this OW and her boyfriend got engaged!! On DDay, I was able to contact her via phone and give her a piece of my mind. WH has not had any contact with her (to my knowledge). WH said there is no need because I made my point clear on the phone to OW.

Several questioens: First, should I tell H of OMW about the PA? I think this H is physically abusive to OMW and to their children. Next, It is driving me insane knowing that OMW fell deeply in love with my WH...she has already attempted contact once after she indicated to me that she would not. I keep waiting for her phone call to WH or a letter in the mail, or a note on WH's truck. Should I ask WH to do a NC letter to OWM? The OW, I am not that worried about. She couldn't even tell me the truth on the phone (several phone calls). She is avoiding me and WH at all costs, it seems.

Thanks for your input.

Welcome to MarriageBuilders. It is a good place to be under the circumstances. It is usually suggested here that the affair be exposed to the husband of the other woman.

Also your husband needs to write her a no contact letter. It should be short and say that he loves you and is committed to your marriage, and does not want contact with her for any reason.

You can print out the emotional needs questionnaire and be sure that you are meeting each others' top needs.

Stick with us and keep reading and posting, and things will get better.

Has your significant other ever cheated on you?

Yep -

I've been going through this for 20 months. I threw WH out on D-day. I didn't find this board for 3 months. Now he has been living with OW for over a year.

My life is much better now. So stick with us. You will get there too.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lsccbean:
A friend of WH said to him, "Don't get your hopes up...it's only temporary." The statement bothered him deeply. He asked me, "Is it temporary?" I said, "I am committed to trying."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">bean...welcome...I had to comment on the above. First, nice "friend" your H has (hopefully "had.") What a disgusting thing to say! And to your credit, the best response you could have said! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Like believer said, there are many, many things to read and the people here have "been there, done that." (I was unfortunately a FWH.) Keep reading and posting. You will get through this! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

But what about OMW? The one that has attempted to contact. I am more worried about her than the OW. Ya know, this really SUCKS!! Why did it have to be 2 women at the same time...more than that...EA and PA with both for over 6 months AT THE SAME TIME!! What's really even sadder is that WH and I always had a great sex life! I just don't get it ::shurgs:: So....should I let H of OMW know about her and my WH or not?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LINY:
<strong> [QUOTE] First, nice "friend" your H has (hopefully "had.") What a disgusting thing to say! And to your credit, the best response you could have said!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WH has not been in contact with this friend. WH has indicated in more words than this--I don't like how [friend] has been the last few years...I hate walking on egg shells around him--

I have also expressed to WH how I feel about [friend], too and especially [friend's] wife: couldn't believe a few weeks ago she called WH and told him another friend in common was in the hospital...she proceeded to say "Don't tell my husband where you got this information. If he knows I told you, he would kill me." Talk about deceit and betrayal. Obviously, [friend] has told his wife not to talk to my WH. Well, she did it anyway. I don't understand the risks that people take these days....I could never do that to my WH if he requested for me not to talk to another party because it would hurt him. I would rather lose 100 friends than the respect and trust of my spouse.