My favorite TV show came to the season end last night and it really made me think, especially since infidelity is such a prominent suject on the show with the marriage of Rico and Vanessa breaking apart due to his infidelity with a stripper that he met at a Gentlemen's Club. Last night, he came to his wife and asked for her forgiveness. He acknowledged his wrongdoing and made sure that she understand that this was all his doing and that she had no fault in this whatsoever. He is ready to rebuilt his marriage and family.

I was moved to tears...

His wife, Vanessa, however is not ready to rebuild the marriage and she is asking for a divorce. She is incredibly hurt and does not believe that it will be possible to move on and she would rather divorce and start a new life for herself and her children.

Rico broke down...

This scene really touched me and I sometimes wonder how many betrayed spouses really feel this way. Is it always better to recover and rebuilt? Or has the pain of the A destroyed the core belief and trust that we had in our spouse? Can this ever TRULY be recovered?

I understand that not everyone here is familiar with this show, but I found it interesting that they did not portray Vanessa as a wife who is all so ready to jump back into her husband's arms, willing to pick up the pieces and recover the marriage, even though I could see a good opportunity for them to learn from this and grow together as a couple.

Your thoughts are welcome.

Kati

I saw the coming attractions and couldnt watch for that very reason.

It seems like most of what i see on TV is about infidelity in some way and i cant stand it.

Its at a point where i can even watch 2 people kiss on tv cause it pops thoughts into my head about ww and om.

Hi Kati,
Didn't see last nights episode yet, going to grab it on demand tonight.

Vanessa never really seemed to want Rico back. A lot of BS do this. I don't know the statistics...but I know I still wonder if it would have been easier starting over as opposed to rebuilding.

I'm only 5 months into recovery...so it's not a fair assessment yet. I'll let you know though.

SFU is my W’s favorite show too. I’m don’t particularly like the show and this season has be extremely brutal because of the infidelity themes. I watched it with my W last night hoping (against hope) that Rico and Vanessa would patch things up.

I don’t think her response is all that uncommon.

My W isn’t ready to rebuild our M either. She has told me that the only thing that might convince her to try is our S.

She has also made it crystal clear that if it wasn’t for him we would definitely be D.

Hi Kati,

I saw last nights episode too.I was glad to see Rico's remorse at what he had done and when they showed the scene when he is looking in the window watching Vanessa and the boys help pick up the living room,it reminds me of how my WH will never be a part of my life or our daughters lives like that again.He will never have a family life unless he dares to start all over again with the homewrecker which is gross.

One thing that was always clear to me though,was I knew right from the start that I was going to forgive my WH and work on our problems and make things better or "die trying", as he once told me but never actually did.I knew how much I loved him and our girls needed him in their lives,so did I.I didn't want to be raising my girls in a broken family.But,unfortunately for me,even if WH did come back and did all the right things,his career is still a major roadblock to us ever having time together.I will always be sad that that issue always came between us.Long ago,we used to be inseparable. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

O

:::::::Or has the pain of the A destroyed the core belief and trust that we had in our spouse? Can this ever TRULY be recovered?

The $64,000 question huh?

That movie "Love Actually" had a good line by Emma Thompson to her cheating H. She said "am I now meant to accept a devalued relationship"? I felt quite distressed watching her unwrap her Christmas present to discover it wasn't the jewelery she saw him buying in the dept. store - but a CD. Doesn't that say it all? The BW gets a CD and the bimbo gets jewelery.

Most of the people on MB's are interested in rebuilding. What are the real stats on D after infidelity anyway?

I loved the show and watched it last night too.

I think they did a good job of portraying someone with Vanessa's personality. She was very, very angry for a long time. Rico waited so long to apologize and be fair to her. I think that they left the door open for them to reconcile. He obviously wants the M to continue. She SEEMS certain, but that could be changed. I hope they show some hope in the situation.

What about Lisa's brother in law and their A? How terrible was that? And her poor sister hearing all of it and then watching her husband kill himself.

I think the answer was in the show itself--holding onto pain is a choice. We are alive and shouldn't waste it being stuck. Painful triggers come up and you deal with them and move on. There is always something good in your life to be grateful for. We will always be upset about our spouse's A if we choose to be.

The character who plays Rico did an awesome job last night. I could literally feel his pain and his remorse. He was so wrong and he caused so much pain, yet he put it all onto his shoulders and ask for forgiveness and a chance to try again.

But then, how realistic is this really? Has anyone's WS every really acted like Rico did? He was like a WS fantasy come true. I guess, in reality this is indeed what every BS would like to hear from their WS, but the more I read here, the more I get the feeling that this type of WS is very rare.

Kati

Ok, I just ran home at lunch to make sure what I'm about to say is true.

I just watched the episode again on vod and I fast forwarded to the parts with Rico & Vanessa...

I can honestly say that those are my actions. So far I have gotten a similar response from my W... she just hasn't said the D word yet.

I do agree with you, though. It seems rare on MB.