Juke,

Just writing to see how you are doing. I know last week was a bad time for you. Hope you are holding in together. I know you may not want to talk but just give us a quick post to tell us you are there.

You are in my prayers.

Bump

bump

Well,until juke comes around,how are YOU Mr Cymanca?

O <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

10Girl,

I don't like to hijack my own thread but everything here is status quo. No word from WW or her attorney. Divorce date is less than 5 weeks away and OM is still scheduled to arrive in San Diego the next day.

Mostly I am feeling this deep emptiness. I guess the realization that this is something I can't fix, is a very hard concept for me to accept.

I am very busy, will be moving into my new office in a couple of weeks. Between running my practice, functioning as my office manager( she quit as a fallout of WW spewing venom at anyone and everyone connected with me), and arranging this move ( which was supposed to be handled by my WW and office manager), I just feel overwhelmed. The new office was supposed to be a culmination of what my WW and I wanted professionaly but I find that if I spend any time time at the new office, it just triggers me into an emotional mess.

So I guess everything is just peachy keen!!

<small>[ September 13, 2004, 01:14 PM: Message edited by: Cymanca ]</small>

You can always change the topic so juke won't be offended.ha

You said something that resonates with me.I have been feeling ill for a while now and until a few days ago,I couldn't quite put my finger on it.I realized that this sorrow I feel is always going to be a part of me,like a big ugly scar and I want so desperately for it to go away.Almost like being in a closet and the air is slowly going "stale" and you know all you have to do is open the door to get some fresh air and feel better but I can't open the door.I will just never feel ok again.I just can't breath like I used to.Does that make sense?

Anyway,sorry juke.Hope you are holding up ok.Tune in will ya?

O

10Girl,

I have described the feeling as that of impending doom. It doesn't seem to have any concrete symptoms but this feeling that I described above. Maybe this is a prodromal symptom of an impending panic attack.

Please take care of yourself and dish out some of the responsiblities to other's that can lighten your load.You do sound very,very busy and you don't want to crash and end up in the ER.

Maybe a physical is in order if you haven't been in a while? Some of you doctor's forget about your own health when you're so busy taking care of your patients. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

O

Hey Cymanca, I am here! I would ask how u r but someone already asked and I will read it in a sec. The reason last week was so bad was from seeing her that one morning. I still have been a bit depressed for the last couple days. It seems that everytime I see her I get angry and depressed that same day. The only thing that makes it seem worth it to me is that it doesn't let her off the hook easy. She has to see me and think about what she has done also. A lot of people have told me to switch orthodontists, but I think it's good for her to have to see me now and then.

I also don't even know if I am divorced officially yet. only she knows the court date and that may have passed already.

Juke,

You sound pretty good. We are all worried about you since your D day was supposed to be last week sometime. Your state doesn't require you to be in attendance when the final decree is issued? In California , I believe that we both are required to show up.

Good to hear from you.

Juke,

Switching Ortho's is good for YOU not WW.If you think she is feeling any remorse or guilt when she sees you you are most likely wrong.

You need to protect yourself from all that trauma.It's like what Dr.Harley said about the WS throwing stones instead of helping you out of the hole.They just don't care enough.You might as well be the delivery man.

I certainly feel better when I don't have to see my WH.I cannot even look him in the eyes anymore.Who is behind those eyes is not someone I recognize and it hurts.

O

Cymanca- Man. i was just writing u again and accidentally erased my typing. Whoops. You should try to think of your new office as more of YOUR new office. Be proud of all that YOU have accomplished. I mean, you are a doctor and that is a huge accomplishment. She can't take that away from you. I understand how it is hard to deal with something you can't fix. I can relate. i am not a control freak at all, but I do think logically and this mess is illogical to say the least. Hang in there and do some things for YOURSELF if you can. Buy something you have wanted for a while.

I am not sure if my D was last week or this. i haven't talked to her at all about it. In AZ she is the only one required to go in our default D. i am at the point where D being final doesn't really effect me because I have been expecting it and accepted it. It's on her, not me.

i am at the point where D being final doesn't really effect me because I have been expecting it and accepted it. It's on her, not me.

It's good that you've accepted it, but I think you should try to somehow find out the official date. I mean, for all practical purposes, you really do need to know! Plus, it's possible that once you have that date, the realization of the finality of it will hit you in a way you didn't expect. That process may be a necessary step in healing and moving on.

I hope you have a better week this week! ((())) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />