Less than 24 hours.
Last night did good, handed son the phone when Dad called to say goodnight.
Same this morning.

But my Son was very depressed this AM. Said he wanted to tell Dad to make g/f leave. Dad had told him it was his decision. UGH!! Why is my 7 yr old repsonsible for those 2 idiots living situation.?!?! I think my son is feeling bad that he said it was ok. He is worried about not seeing his dad. I started feeling guilty. How could I tell his father he couldnt hang out with us anymore? What am I doing to my son? Told my son that everything was going to be ok. That we both love him very much and will always be there for him.
Took him to school and watched him sulk in line. Didnt say goodbye to me, just looked at me with those big eyes. I dont know what to do.
Get in the car crying and guees who calls?
Thats right, perfect timing Husband. Caught me when I needed someone to talk to about son.
So of course I didnt get the rational understanding talk I needed. I got blame, anger, rage and basically it is all my fault. And that by filing my custody support payments Im trying to steal son and money. He wants me to basically lie to the court and not mention certain monies he makes or mention his free rent.

I hate feeling this way. Part of me just wants to say to hell with it and let H go. Let any hope go. I guess its fair to say I feel hopeless.
I feel that by filing the legal papers I am basically kissing any chance of us good bye. He has insinuated such.
I believe that is what has kept me from filing this long. G/F moving in is forcing me to take legal action.
I feel like crap today. I couldnt sleep most of the night and when I did I had nightmares of H and G/F.

Someone tell me this gets better..
one way or another, that this does get better.

They all say that.

These are your goals right now:

1.) Preserve your love for your H, even though he has seemingly lost his mind
2.) Preserve yourself and protect your son
3.) Put pressure on the affair

The point is, if your WH does decide to make poor choices, and you are left to be a single parent, you will be kicking yourself if you short change yourself on support, custody, etc.

And, how can you possibly legitimize lying on the support paperwork. Right is right and wrong is wrong. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. I would not recommend this. Your husband thinks it is normal to be lying on all of this stuff, because he is in a lifestlye mode of what "feels good" or what is "easy" not what is right and truthful.

Bottom line is this. Your WH wants to deflect any blame for the pain your son is feeling onto you. But be real about this.

Is your son hurting because you do not want his Dad to have a girlfriend? Is your son hurting because you are trying to secure his future, and make sure his basest needs are accounted for? Or is your son hurting because his Dad is getting uncomfortable with what the reality of his illicit affair would mean., financially, emotionally, etc.

NO.

He hurting because your WH chose to have an A and leave the family.

You do not own that. PERIOD.

Get your son into counseling. Sometimes your son's school will even have some counseling available to him there.

My son was hurting immensely, and still is. He knew what was going on and was oscilating between hating his Dad and never wanting to see him again, and loving his Dad, and wanting him so desperately to come home.

It does get better....really it does. I thought I was gonna not be able to breath anymore I hurt so bad. I am surviving, and glad I stood my ground for what was best for my family (because my WH never did come to his senses...and I would have regretted not taking the steps I needed to in order to protect my children).