Has anyone ever done an Intervention with the WS?

Since this is so additing, just like alcohol or drugs, has anyone tried to get friends and family in a room to confront them?

Just curious if there is anyway to get through the FOG to the WSs head and heart.

I have thought about the same thing.

oooh bump for the good Q.

I guess that is kind of what exposure is. People to hold you accountable for your actions. Loved ones who have your best interest in mind when you are completely irrational and in the midst of an A, all in one place to tell you so, hmmm, very interesting.

I'm guessing the fog bound spouse, would hate this. Major LB, but maybe affective.

One day, a month after the sparrow left, she was planning to come here to get a few of her things. I was vague with her about whether I would be alone in the house, and she claimed my response made her "paranoid and uncomfortable".

I think an intervention was exactly what she was afraid of.

I wanted to do one and could have gotten people to do it, but I figured the "don't educate the WS" and "don't try to convince them to come home with words" rules would apply, and that it would be a bad idea. I'll never know.

GC

<small>[ September 14, 2004, 11:47 PM: Message edited by: graycloud ]</small>

Good question. I have often thought this is where the analogy of affairs and chemical addiction breaks down.

My niece was addicted to easily available chemicals and in order to stop her ai actually PHYSICALLY intervene and locked her in my house until I could arrange addiction counselling.

None of us would do that to our WS although we would like to. So its not quite the same thing. maybe because an A probably won't kill you. Dunno.

I agree with KY that controlled exposure is an intevention of sorts.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kyellow4:
<strong>Loved ones who have your best interest in mind when you are completely irrational and in the midst of an A, all in one place to tell you so, hmmm, very interesting.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know that's what killed the A immediately in my case. But in fact I was the "loved one" in the same place with OW and H - the very fact that I found out and that they saw how much pain they had caused me, stopped the A right there and then.

I'm still puzzled about how they could have thought it's "ok" to have sex until I found out - as if it suddenly became something awful then. They both said they always loved me.. that they never wanted to harm me.. Yet for more that a year they were perfectly ok with cheating on me and taking advantage of my trust, and after d-day they were terribly ashamed and would never do it again... just because I knew.

Oh yes, exposure can be a very powerful tool to burst the A-bubble.

Intervention for the right reasons is helpful. In the case of an A, it is hard not t/b the right reason.

It is also a necessary step in most cases.

What type were you thinking of?

L.

I wouldn't organize it. I'd have her sister organize it. Have her parents there, friends, sisters, etc.

Just a thought. She has been exposed. Not to everyone, but I've been talking to her sister and her friend at work.

She is trying to separate our relationship out from the A. Claiming there is no A and they are not related.

Thanks for all the thoughts. I'm not sure I'd actually do the Intervention, just wondered if anyone ever tried it.

Perhaps a FOG horn going off every morning and evening would help? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is trying to separate our relationship out from the A. Claiming there is no A and they are not related.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A very common WW move. The M was over before the A began. Typical. A lie they tell themselves to avoid guilt. The brain adapting to traumatic circumstances.

Would an intervention convince them otherwise? The basic principles say it wouldn't. They would just remember how it made them feel, not what it made them think. WWs in romantic As can't listen to their left brains. Too dangerous, too confusing.

Not meant to discourage. But if something like this is going to happen, the BS should separate himself from it as much as possible. Maybe not even be there.

GC