Hi everyone....I am on my way out shortly, I will tell the whole story later today.

Just a quick thing I need advice on.

WH said he would pay the $975.00 for the insulation i had to get put in the attic.

Also, he said whats your visa balance (1,700.00) I will pay that also.

Ok, do i let him? What if he has some ulterior motives? He said he wants me to get a fresh new start.

Got to go will write more later, lots to tell.

He is already $37,000 in debt. Why would he want to get in further.

Thanks
A/C0810

Just a quick psychic thought, but....

Guilt?

HI Everyone

Wh was here yesterday, I went into the bedroom, he said we need to talk about bills. I know i shouldnt have but i came out. So sorry i did cause of course i lost it.

Ok, lets see ready for a long read?

Me: if you have come to say the five words i want to hear, "I WANT TO COME HOME"
WH: shook head no

ME: well than get the hell out.
WH: Oh, hun come on, (smugley of course) Like why would i say that.

Me: your a LIAR and a CHEATER
WH: silence

WH: Listen, pay for the insulation from the line of credit, and whats your visa?
Me: my visa is 1,700

WH; ok, pay them both from line of credit.
Me: hello, your already in debt up to your eyeballs.
WH: Oh, I'll get out.
WH: i want you to have a fresh new start with no bills.
Me: What you win the lottery? you need professional help, you need to talk to someone, your ****ed up big time.

Me: why are you here, yu wanted a new life, now go have your new life.
WH: i came to get some of my things, my computer, and desk. Could i have one of the Tv's, Vcr and the stand.
Me: Whatever, i dont care take it.
WH; could i have pictures of the kids to put in my new place.
Me: what is that to ease your guilt, they want you here as their father, not know your living somewhere else looking at their pictures.

Me: i want some answers, were those all lies during our 2 yrs recovery?
WH: i just told you what you wanted to hear.
Me: thats really mature. So tell me, how long have you been unhappy in our M.
WH: it started a couple of years before the first A.

Me: oh, and stop asking D to meet your OW, thats very disrespectful to me.
WH: well, they are my kids too, and this is my life now.

Me: Do you even realize that you are a married man and your comitting adultry, and so is your OW.
WH; no , cause i am not living here
Me: your still married
WH: well would you like me to file papers?
Me: No

WH: change the household bills to your name
Me: i plan to do that.

Wh; look im happy now, i wish you could accept that.
Me: silence (too hurt to answer)

Me: well when we moved up here a year ago, i thought we had plans, your big garage you wanted, you were gonna grow old tinkering on your vehicle stuff.
WH: oh well, things change

Me: well you know your S doesnt want to have anything to do with you.
WH; yes i know
Me: what a good example for your S, gee lets just hope he doesnt cheat on his wife when he gets married. I hope your proud of yourself.

Me: you are not the man i married. You used to have morals and know right from wrong, you were a good person. What the hell happened to you. Is this what she has turned you into.
WH: well this is my life now, accept it.

Me: get all your **** out of my garage.
WH: well , you will have to give me some time, to make some arrangements on where to put it.

Me: well, i will think about you paying that stuff for me (cause i am thinking he has some ulterior motive for getting way way more in debt)
WH: well, you decide, take it from the credit line.
Me: You know, you are going to fall flat on your face, and i am gonna be here to pick-up the pieces of your shattered life. It will be me, cause my love is unconditional. You know what that means (men are dumb). It means that under any circumstances, what ever you have done, i will still be here for you.

WH: yeah, um-hmm, whatever. (in other words saying it like well, lady that aint gonna happen, so dont wait for me.)

Me: Bye
WH: Bye


So, it was bad. My plan B is broken. I know he drove down the road thinking, wow, i am glad i am not there anymore. What a phsyco.

So, i guess in the next month or so , he will be back to start removing things from his garage.

Ok, what do i do now, i know i need to leave when he comes, but, he is so persistent.

It seems hopeless, maybe i should just accept the fact that its over, he really doesnt want this life anymore.

Oh, he kept calling me "Hun", i said dont call me Hun, i not your hun anymore.

i guess it could have been worse, i didnt run down the down the OW, but i did do LB's, DJ's for sure.

The whole thing thats really getting to me is that I was doing so damm good, i was even going around singing at times. Now i am so pissed, and discouraged. It sure proves that Plan b works for yourself though.

Well love to hear your replys, thanks everyone.

A/C0810

Ahhhhhh. Sometimes it feels so good to LB. But later you feel bad about it.

So get back in Plan B, and try to stick to it. Lots of us fall off the wagon. But the longer you stay in Plan B, the better you will feel.

hi beleiver......thanks for your advice.

But honestly, it doesnt look too good for me, does it?

A/C0810

I would apologize to him for the LB's, and be as specific and as honest as you can...."When I said you were ****ed up, it was wrong of me to pass that judgement on you, and when I used sarcasm, it was wrong of me, I let my anger get the best of me, this situation is so hurtful and I am trying to hurt you as much as I feel hurt."

I would write it in a letter, explain that you don't trust yourself right now to talk face to face with him, your emoptions are so raw now, but that this would be the last letter. You didn't want your last conversation with him to be so bitter.

Let him know how you are changing and working on yourself, realizing your faults (and be specific) and becoming stronger.

Then send it....

Hi......oh geez, two opposite opions and i agree with both.

beleiver......Oh yes, it felt real good to LB. I am still mad as hell, so right now i dont feel the least bit sorry about what i have done. I definetly know it was wrong and against the MB principles, but sorry , no.

As you said maybe in a couple of days i will feel really bad.

stillheremakingit....your advice is the right thing to do. Its just right now i dont feel like apoligizing to him. I am just so mad and hurt at how he is so calm and rational about this mess he has created.

Im hurting, he's so happy, and i got to apoligize, its just not fair.

I dont even know his address, wouldnt know where to send it.

Your right Stillhere, i will consider writing the letter and finding a way to get it to him.

Thank you beleiver and stillheremakingit for your advice.

A/C0810