I've finally taken a firm stand with my WH - told him point blank - That I refuse/won't tolerate being disrespected any longer. His OP's must stop calling our home/business - this shows a lack of basic personal respect and it must stop now. Our employees aren't stupid and since I work at the business the calls must stop. He is making me and himself look like an A@@. I told him to carry his cell 24/7 (which he hasn't done)

His/our male friends even told him the same thing - they have lost total respect for him and it isn't right the way he is treating me. They told him to make a decision - either in the M or out.

I know he is still calling OP/s (yes more than 0ne) and I have a "feeling" they are still calling our business - though, the quantity of calls has dropped off since my confronting him and 2 of the OP and 1 OPH.

I am taking this approach based on some of Dr. Phil's books - So let's say he again betrays me and acts in a disrespectful way - comes home late, may phone calls, lies about where he is going, etc. WHAT DO I DO??? to reinforce that I will not tolerate these actions..I cannot Plan B because of our business.

Do I just not speak to him/cold shoulder then tell him why I am angry? I do not wish to be a doormat any longer. I want to stand up to this man and let him know I can and wil survive no matter how many OPs he has in his pocket. I still have my pride and dignity even though he has tried for over a year to strip me of it - I must stand up for myself..He'll tell me he needs help and doesn't get it, tells me he'd done with OP then be missing in action for a few hours. So I believe nothing that he says - SHOW ME DON'T TELL ME...

Suggestions - this is a serial cheat I am dealing with...

All I hear is demand respect - but, noone seems to tell you how you get that what steps you need to take..

sounds to me like you know exactly what to do. You have all ready started to take action.
Good for you! Pat yourself on the back for me! You are questioning yourself right now - very understandable, but it sounds like you have told him that you will not tolerate a lack of respect any longer.
I think your biggest fears right now are around the "what if's". I would suggest that you don't need to borrow that much trouble. Although it is good to be prepared for the worst, you do not need to spend too much time worrying about all the many what if's.
You say that you told him:
His OP's must stop calling our home/business
Ok, so if one of these people call the house, you simply say "I have told you not to call here." or "I have told my husband that we will no longer accept your calls here."
If a call should come into the business, and you answer it, repeat line 1 or 2 from above.
Now, I get an underlying feeling here that part of your concern is the fact that he may be receiveing calls that you don't know about:
I have a "feeling" they are still calling our business
This sort of feeling is not going to go away - IMO - as long as he continues to sit on the fence. The day is going to come when you will have to demand comeplete respect for yourself - you will have to say "No more contact - not by cell, at home, by mail, or by carrier pigeon. Either you are married to me or not."
I suspect that day of reckoning is coming. Will you please start taking steps to protect yourself, and provide for yourself, in the evet that this should happen, and you are no longer able to be involved in the buisness? I know you keep saying you "have to" be involved in the business. I would challenge you - if he were to die tomorrow, you would have to do something else. If he were to completely lose his mind and start shacking up with one of these OP's, you would have to take immediate action. Could you start taking pro-active steps now? You are in charge of your own life here - not him.
Start cutting back on anything you can to cut costs - get a part time job at Victorias Secret - take a class, whatever you need to do.
Perhaps you will start to provide a decent living for yourself. If nothing else, you will scare the poo out of him when he starts seeing that you don't need him anymore.
You are on the brink of truly taking back your respect. Allow me to give you a little push.
But I am pushing you with love.

You are demanding to him that others do something? What if he tells them and tehy don;t stop?

That I refuse/won't tolerate being disrespected any longer. His OP's must stop calling our home/business - this shows a lack of basic personal respect and it must stop now.
Then you should tell THEM to stop.

You are demanding to him that others do something? What if he tells them and tehy don;t stop?

That I refuse/won't tolerate being disrespected any longer. His OP's must stop calling our home/business - this shows a lack of basic personal respect and it must stop now.
Then you should tell THEM to stop.

Chris - I have told one of them to STOP - she denies she even calls him..Says she only returns his calls - she doesn't even know WHY he calls her...HAHAHHA...Coz, he s$#@#ING her that's why...funny, in more ways than one..ahhahha..I'm sure she sees my WH as a life line - we own a profitable local business that is big in our area - she's a country bumpkin thinking she hit it big...I have not called her BS but it is coming. My WH has her fooled - he's not who he thinks he is - hell it took me 10 years to figure him out and I live with him. Her phone # has been on our bills for 1 year now..well, he wised up and uses phone cards now..

WOF5 - Yes - I'm learning that the "what if's" don't matter as much - he's gonna do what he's gonna do- I'm alot stronger/braver than ever..Though, I do still hold back alitle..I should have exposed alot more and alot sooner..dragging my feet was less effective in the long run.

The OP's don't call our house when I'm there - if WH takes days off and I'm at work - that's when they call. God forbid they would call if I answered..I only know she calls our house, bus, his cell because I had copies of her cell bill - proving it..I plan on starting to answer the work phone soon just to show him I can and will answer it..I will "screen" his calls - that will set him on fire and show him what I can and can't do..If he doesn't like that he can file for a D..or stop the BullS###.

As for protecting myself - I have seen an attorney and have another appt. next week - I need info. on how the business would be handled should we D. The business is where the money is, and I want my share and then some. I need to know financially I'll be safe for a very long time. I'd never find a job with this pay, benefits, charge accounts, etc. If he would "die" tomorrow -I probably wouldn't sell out - we have a staff that could run things for me. I left my job of 19 years - 6 years ago to open this place with him and I shouldn't have to start over becoz he's a serial cheat. My attorney would strongly suggest that I not leave work/or home - so the courts would see I am dedicated to the business/home. Keep my expenses up to show that I am use to a certain way of life (alimony). I don't want to cut my costs right now that's for sure..I'm high maintenance and will keep it that way especially now.

If he would start shacking up - well, at least he'd be out of "our" house. I've asked him to leave - he won't go. Hmm, which OP would he shack up with..Believe me once he lived with one of these OP he'd come running home..They think the OP is better - how could they possible know that - you never know someone till you live with them, take care of them in sickness, vacations, kids, etc. He's a classic cake man - and doesn't want to change. He resists all my attempts to get along and do things together. He is still sleeping in another BR which is fine - that will be to my benefit should we D - we are in a no fault state so he'll have less time to contest should I file.

D is my last resort - I do not want a D..I still love him very much - but, I must make some demands and he must see that I mean it..I've lifted the rug on too many things and he keeps walking all over it..He knows that I will take him back that's the whole problem that's another reason why he won't stop...I'll give him a certain amount of freedom so he doesn't feel "caged" but I will also draw a line and when crossed I must show him some retaliation.

So not talking/cold shoulder is the right way??? then explain why so he understands.