Hi all you plan A and B veterans. I am progressing into plan B. As a result i have asked WW to move out within a set timeframe. WW gets all misty eyed and mumbles that I am throwing her out and that she doesn't really want to move out? When I explain that she has made no effort to rebuild the trust or the relationship, she does not deny this? Questions are:

1) What was she thinking (probably nothing)that I would do given her past / continued behaviour? I actually asked her this but go no answer.
2) What does this babble mean?
3) Why do I feel guilty about doing this?
4) What should I do as I feel like she is using me and taking advantage of my good nature?

<small>[ September 15, 2004, 08:34 PM: Message edited by: RenaissanceMan ]</small>

You are a little early for Plan B. Have you done a solid Plan A? Does she still have contact with OM?

Hi believer, it's been about 3-4 months of plan A and as far as I can tell she is still sneaking around and squeezing in liaisions with him. There is also lot's of text messaging going on at all hours (with all call records wiped from the phone), which also tends to make me believe that contact in one form or another is still occurring. She is a serial lier, so there is no hope of getting the truth out of her.

<small>[ September 15, 2004, 10:27 PM: Message edited by: RenaissanceMan ]</small>

Sorry RM, might be time for Plan B.

RM....How has exposure worked for you? Have you exposed WW's A?

I'm no where near Believer's knowledge and experience, but my Plan A plus exposure has my WW asleep right now in our bed.

My WW did the same thing last Saturday (albeit she's leased an apartment but never stayed there longer than a few hours) when I told her she needed to start staying there.

I was very close to Plan B (today actually) but things have changed a bit and counseling/coaching with Steve Harley gave me a much needed refill of patience and planning.

.............LS

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by RenaissanceMan:
<strong> Questions are:

1) What was she thinking (probably nothing)that I would do given her past / continued behaviour? I actually asked her this but go no answer.
2) What does this babble mean?
3) Why do I feel guilty about doing this?
4) What should I do as I feel like she is using me and taking advantage of my good nature? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid:
1 & 2. WS wants you to enable the A. Wants her cake and eat it 2.

3. Because you can't believe she w/b this way.... but she is. Face reality and remove your guilt. Give the guilt to her and let her keep it. Otherwise you will get angry soon.

4. Because she is taking advantage of you. How much longer you gonna let her?

L.

Fellow MB'ers, I get the message loud and clear. I am doing the right thing and WS is not, hence the attempts at transferring the guilt. I will be strong and push on. Thanks for putting me back on track.