I have been lurking here quit awhile and finally decided to register.I have asked a few questions but never gave my story.I feel it is time.
Back in Feb. I found out that my H was having a A.I made him leave and of course he keep seeing her.He came home in June but left again in July. I thought he was not seeing her and as of today I have no proof that he is but from all the post on here I believe he is.
He has just started taking his AD and has said he was going to seek IC.He also says that this may end in a D but he wanted to get his meds in him and IC before he did anything that he will regret.I feel that it will end in a D.Up until today it has made me really depressed. I love my husband very much and don't want a D but I know that I can't make him change I can only hope and pray that through showing suttle love and support that he will.I also know that if this does end in a D that life will go on and I need to live it. So i have decided to look at it this way... He will be giving me the dream of what life will be like without him and as long as I do this in the proper way I will have no regrets; as for him he will always have this knowledge of what he did to me and his two girls hanging over him,even if he does come to terms with it because he cannot change the past.
He says he loves me and will always love me.When I hear that all I hear is he cares for me and always will.I guess so we have been married 22years and have two girls together.I am doing a combo of plan A and B. I no longer persue him and try to get him to come home but when I see him I show what he is missing out of. Like I said I don't want a D but I need to condition myself in case there is one.I know I will have bad days still to come esp. with holidays coming up but you know what so will he and I do have the Lord to lean on and my friends and of course all of you out there.
I hate that this is what we all have in common but I am thankfull that this website is here because even tho I have been a lurker you all have got me through many unbearable times and I want to say THANK YOU ALL!! for all that you have done even when you didn't know you were doing it.