so my H tells me that he is going to a friend's stag.

then he goes on to drop the bomb that part of the night involves a strip club.

I'm upset.

He feels that I should be ok with it since I was at one before (like back in the mid 90's and I went grudgingly for a friend's stag- had a horrible time).

What do I do?

I don't have anyone to talk to about this- my mom would flip out, and no one else knows about our past (him a FWH).

Is it stupid of me to be upset, even though it's been over 5 years since dday?

I do know they are going to be in a separate room at the club.

help

Interesting 2uestion.

I've been 2 3 bachelor parties along those lines. First was a surprise for me - the groom's brother hired a prosti2te! I've only seen him once since that night, and it was about 20 years ago. Needless 2 say, perhaps, he's not M'd anymore.

2nd was at a strip club. Groom didn't want 2 go, and with the smoke and noise, we didn't stay anyway. We ended up at a coffee shop just chatting. That was fun.

3rd was with a stripper hired by the best man 2 come 2 the grooms house. Wasn't fun.

My W was most angered that I went 2 the third one, because I knew before that's what was planned. It 2k a few years 2 get beyond that.

These days? I wouldn't be the least bit interested in that kind of party. (for my own bachelor party, we only had Dr Pepper and good company, as I didn't even drink in those days). And not just because I'm a BS. There's just 2 much more INTERESTING things 2 do 2 celebrate life, particularly 2 celebrate a 2ple getting M'd.

-ol' 2long

albw...never posted to you before...don't know your story. (Sorry.)

No. That's the easy answer. (And that's under the assumption you said, "I do not want you going.")

He is disrespecting your wishes, feelings, etc. Not for nothing, he should also be the one, IMHO, bending over backwards, acting like the HAMM bros, doing flips, whatever it takes to gain or maintain your trust. Not a good decision if he goes. And it is not an unreasonable request on your part.

My two sense.

albw,
I'm sitting right next to you in this car. These clubs have ALWAYS been an issue for me... and not something I sprung on H ...from dating ...he knew how I felt about this.

He went to one at a bachelor party for a friend. I didn't talk to him for over a month..I was so hurt.... and that was PRE-A.

I don't trust those places. I don't care what ANY one says...YES THERE IS TOUCHING. And a lot more than that if the price is right. I don't care how "high class" it is.... there is ALWAYS touching.

Gross.... talk some more about it. Agree....don't agree to disagree. Come up with something comfortable for you both. Your M should always ALWAYS come first.