I was just curious what you all think the role of a friend should be in a M or an A.

My guideline for a friend is someone who helps you be a better person. In fact, that was one of my main guidelines for picking a spouse (look where it got me!).

Anyway, my W's friend encouraged her, knew about, and facilitated the start of her EA. I understand that it was my W's decision, and I had a contribution to the state of our M, but I feel like the friend should have encouraged her to end the M or fix the M. I am working to fix my issues and to forgive my wife, but I still am upset with this friend. I think her POV was for my W to do what makes her happy, but my W is very unhappy with her decision.

Conversely, I was tempted to start an A (before my W had hers). My friend did take the stance of helping me see the reasons not to, and I am grateful for it. He would have stood by me if I had done it, and I think that's how it should be.

I also have a friend that engaged in SF at his bachelor party (I found out afterwards). I have no intention of doing anything but keeping my mouth shut about it, but his W is now having an A. When he gets upset about it, would I be doing any good by asking him to compare his W's POV with his actions at his bachelor party?

Opinions?