Hi MB posters,
Just wanted to let you know how my Plan B was going--since it started about three weeks ago. WH went overseas and I could not contact him if I wanted to so it was easy for me to go completely dark. He left messages just about everyday and kept asking me to leave him messages, but I never did.
I kept myself busy. I had planned alot of activities while he was gone and even took myself on a mini-vacation which WH knew and was worried about. When I returned from it last Sunday, he called about eight times in three hours and left messages that went from panic to anger. Monday am he called again about three times in fifteen minutes and the phone was freaking me out so I finally picked up. I asked him if he was ready to meet the conditions in the letter. He agreed to enter MC and end C. I was still not sure if I was ready for him to come home so I did not commit and told him I would think about it.
Later in the week, I counseled with SH and he suggested that I ask WH to attend MB weekend--next week. Yesterday when WH called, I made a respectful request to go to MB weekend and he immediately agreed. I made arrangements so we're going to the MB weekend. Whew.
WH is on the way home from overseas and when he called last night, he said that he was glad to be coming home. He also said yesterday that he was confident that we could work it out. Those statements are bittersweet for me. After D-day, he would threaten to move overseas and never come back. He told me that he wanted to travel on an open schedule and be gone for a whole month. He told me that he wanted to be on his own. Plan B gave him the opportunity to do all those things and I guess when you set someone free and they don't go--was it just the resistance or did they really want to leave.
I am cautiously hopeful about our recovery. I realize we have along way to go to address the things that lead to A. The MB weekend will give us a good chance to work on our M and ourselves.
I know that many BS's are in Plan B or considering it--I wanted to just let you know my story and give HOPE to those who are grappling with this. This is a very individual journey, but I wanted to let you know that the program works! In the process, I gained peace about myself and today I have a tiny piece of peace about my M.
Take care of yourself and may God keep you safe and grant you courage in your journey. Keep the faith.
With love, SS
