Seriously, I am so excited I can hardly stand it.

This is what happened. I came home last night, kissed my H and greeted my daughter and her friend who were playing. H asked me to go pick up our middle daughter who was playing on the next street at a friend's house (he was in his chair reading a magazine.) I pleasantly agreed and went upstairs to change. While upstairs I noticed that the basket of laundry that had been sitting for a few days had been placed prominently in our bedroom- I'm sure to attract my attention. This ticked me off slightly as he had been out golfing the night before while I took care of everything at home and hadn't had time to put it away.

HOWEVER, rather then acting snotty, I went downstairs. I unfortunately don't have good control over my facial expressions so H asked what was wrong with me. I said nothing that we need to talk about. He pressed, so I explained that I had been a bit annoyed that he had put out the laundry for me to put away- and put it where I wouldn't miss it as a *reminder* when he had been home all week and had gotten out to golf while I had worked all week as well. He said "well you were gone all last weekend" (true-I had traveled for business and then stayed with my sister over the weekend.) I reminded him (pleasantly) that I had put away many many loads of laundry the prior weekend while he was out golfing.

You knwo what he said????

"You're right. Point taken."

THAT IS A FIRST in the SEVENTEEN years we have been together. Seriously. Ok, I know this is a ridiculously long post for something that seems so trivial...but it isn't trivial for me. My husband has never admitted that I could possibly be right about anything that he doesn't agree with...this was a first!

Thank's JL. I'm beginning to get the hang of this, I think.

from one wife to another... i really enjoyed your post!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sad,

Yes, this is very good. But, better that you were HONEST WITH HIM AND NOT MAD. Do you see the difference in how this works? By the way, did you acknowledge his agreement with you? You should reinforce good behavior Sad, especially if you like it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Now I have a question for you. When was the last time he would say the same about you? It is worthy of consideration. Because as you see and do new things in your marriage, it helps to make sure that you have not transferred his responses to you to your responses to him. Do you see what I mean?

Again congratulations, you are learning the power you have to change things, and what you are seeing is that talking, loving, and being honest is really a very very powerful thing. Moreso than yelling and anger. The anger will get a stronger reaction, but what you are looking for is ACTION.

You are doing well Sad, and I enjoy these "trivial" events. Keep posting them as you can see others enjoy them and learn from them as well.

God Bless,

JL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
<strong> Sad,

Yes, this is very good. But, better that you were HONEST WITH HIM AND NOT MAD. Do you see the difference in how this works? By the way, did you acknowledge his agreement with you? You should reinforce good behavior Sad, especially if you like it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, I didn't - but I should have. Point taken... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I'll do better next time.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
<strong>

Now I have a question for you. When was the last time he would say the same about you? It is worthy of consideration. Because as you see and do new things in your marriage, it helps to make sure that you have not transferred his responses to you to your responses to him. Do you see what I mean?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm obviously not thinking well this morning..I'm not sure if I understand what you are getting at. Could you explain a bit more please?
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
<strong>

Again congratulations, you are learning the power you have to change things, and what you are seeing is that talking, loving, and being honest is really a very very powerful thing. Moreso than yelling and anger. The anger will get a stronger reaction, but what you are looking for is ACTION. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">MOST DEFINITELY!

Thanks JL!

<small>[ September 20, 2004, 07:37 AM: Message edited by: Sadfww ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by FinallyLearning:
<strong> from one wife to another... i really enjoyed your post!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks FL....you know, your user name is just what I feel like these past few weeks...I'm FINALLY learning how to interact with my H after seventeen years!

I was just browsing while taking a break doing some work at home and thought you ladies might get a laugh out of this poster my wife left on my desk not long ago, she was joking of course..... I think......

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

Generously arranged by Ft CAMPBELL Army Wives Assoc


ALL ARE WELCOME.


OPEN TO MEN ONLY


Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Sign up early and get a discount on registration. The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:


DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation


TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion


DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper. Pictures and graphics.


AFTER DINNER DISHES & SILVERWARE - DO THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.


LOSS OF VIRILITY: Losing the remote control to your significant other
Help line and support groups


LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS: DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play


HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
PowerPoint presentation


REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the ONE man who did.


IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation


LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE
Online class and role playing


HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques


REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class


GETTING OVER IT. LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available

cute assuie2!!

sadfww, when i picked my name i was not really learning anything yet, but i wanted to. i think i have grown into my name cuz now that i have been here a while i actually do feel like i am finally learning. (that is when i am not beating myself up for past sins!)

aussie...be careful! I may have to dig up my "For women only" class synopsis! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Sad...What a huge baby step! Calling the kettle black here, but what a difference in response if you keep the anger out of a conversation!

OK, I'm pushing here (and maybe what JL was getting at), but, did he help you put it away (or put it away himmself?) Admission is only one step, but a huge step nonetheless! Good for you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Those classes at Fort Campbell? I will try to check it out. My son was born there when I was stationed there, and he was later a Screaming Eagle himself.

Sad,

You asked about </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now I have a question for you. When was the last time he would say the same about you? It is worthy of consideration. Because as you see and do new things in your marriage, it helps to make sure that you have not transferred his responses to you to your responses to him. Do you see what I mean?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The point is when was the last time YOU admitted you were wrong? It is not unusual for the other spouse in this case YOU, to also not acknowledge when you are wrong, if your H won't/doesn't.

Does this make more sense? It is sort of a self-feeding cycle. It has been broken, so make sure you start opening up a bit as well. It is a feedback loop as you are finding out. But, it is not predictable is it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You ease up on the anger, the home becomes more mellow, and out of the blue, he admits he was wrong. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Who would have thought?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This is very cool to see, and it is fun to see you actually enjoying it.

God Bless,

JL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Just Learning:
<strong> The point is when was the last time YOU admitted you were wrong? It is not unusual for the other spouse in this case YOU, to also not acknowledge when you are wrong, if your H won't/doesn't.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actually I admit I'm wrong all the time... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I've always been (unfortunately) one of those people that are quick to fly off the handle - and then quick to regret it. I'm working on the flying off the handle part- I have always made clear my regret!

This is fun, actually. It has been good to see the positive changes for our family and our marriage- and I credit it all to you JL! Thanks!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LINY:
[QBSad...What a huge baby step! Calling the kettle black here, but what a difference in response if you keep the anger out of a conversation!

OK, I'm pushing here (and maybe what JL was getting at), but, did he help you put it away (or put it away himmself?) Admission is only one step, but a huge step nonetheless! Good for you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks LINY!! It is a HUGE difference...I didn't realize how much MY emotions (specifically my inability (or unwillingness) to control my emotions) affected our relationship. Yikes. Life is definitely a lot happier around our household these past few weeks. I can just hope that it continues!

Did he put away the laundry? Nope. However, I think he would have this week. I just put it away before he got to it (I really think that is the case.)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by aussie2:
<strong> I was just browsing while taking a break doing some work at home and thought you ladies might get a laugh out of this poster my wife left on my desk not long ago, she was joking of course..... I think......
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I love it! Too funny!