My husband had an EA for 6mnths & PA for 2mths. This A occurred while I was in last 3mnths of pregnancy. OW called it off because of guilt.

Anyway, we have not had sex since he has been with her for several reasons. 1-I was 9mnths preg, 2-preg recovery, 3-He told of A(7/21/04)I told him he needed to be tested for STDs before we could be intimate again. Which he has not done.

Here's the kicker, his #1 EN was SEX. He is doing everything he can to make me happy, but he has not been tested yet. I brought it up several times but he blows it off like it's no big deal. I'm not bringing it up again. I'm tired of being the nag. He needs to take responsibility for this, right? I'm I on track with this?

I feel that we can't move forward til this is done. Any advice or insight would be appreciated. I've been lurking this site since d-day.

Why don't you write him a nice letter, telling him how much you would like to have sex with him and can't wait until he gets tested so you can be the hot, nasty little wifey you are dying to be with him.

That ought to light a little fire under him, don't you think?

Then make an appt for him that would be really convenient to make. Or you could make the appt for him and put it in the letter at the end. Make the letter very sweet and sexy.

Weaver

Hi cruising,

Personally,I would not make the appt.for your WH to be tested.He needs to be responsible here and get that done.Since he has not,it makes me wonder about contact.Are you sure it is over with the OW? Have they secretly become "acquainted" again?

I sincerely hope not but you are right in that he is not helping you to fulfill his needs for sex and this can have some serious consequences.Even if he is afraid of what the doctor might find,he is better off knowing than not so he can be treated appropriately.

Are you in counseling?

O

<small>[ September 18, 2004, 05:44 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

Thanks for your replys. I am 98% sure he has no contact. I have him pretty much under my thumb right now. He has changed jobs and works from home, she is an hour away, he has changed cell phone numbers. But now I am always suspicious and always investigating everything he does and who he talks to.

She called it off in April after our baby was born. He went through withdrawel without me even knowing about the A. He told me about the affair so he/we could recommit ourselves to each other.

He went to IC before he told me about A. He had alot of emotional issues coming to a head at the time ie: end of affair, terrible job and issues concerning his father as well as his parents divorce. Personally I think it was mid life crisis setting in.

He knows how I feel about the STD issue and I will not be intimate until that is taken care of. Just not sure why it's not happening.

In all other ways it seems that he wants me.
I'm just a little confused