You ask almost exactly what you put in your post with the addition that YOU want preferably sole custody, if not then primary custody.
Realistically sole custody is probably not going to be given, however I can only speak on Aust courts which seem to follow the US in this area. You in fact based on your posts have a decent argument to put before the court being that she has virtually abandoned them to carry on with her affairs and you may have a sympathetic judge award this to you. It is more likely your lawyer could use this as a strategy to get you primary care which could be easily substantiated due to your ww life style.
When you speak to your lawyer do not be coy about her affairs, he or she needs to know the details tough as that may be for you, to do the best for you. When you say she went out with friends & you mean affairs/boyfriends using the household income to fund them, say affairs and her admissions to them.
You will need to detail day and nights per week she did this, how many hours per night, was she there for the kids on awaking, help then get ready for school, make lunches, make dinner, put them to bed ....all those sort of details.
You should also detail where ever possible where she used family funds to maintain her affairs and thus where it may have effected the kids as far as being denied opportunities because you subsequently could not afford it that week etc etc.
You are likely to get some time to put this together but start thinking of that now.
Most of this info goes towards demonstrating you are the reliable parent who should retain the kids, the family home, and receive support from her for the kids.
I hope of course it does not come to separation and/or divorce. It may be possible to save your M but it is going to take some professional help in my opinion.
Have you gone to a professional PhD qualified MC yet?? I do think your WW needs one to work through her problems and addictions.
I do understand you feeling there has been no progress but you must remember, this is no overnight process. After 3 1/2 months since d day for me on an affair which was only some 6 PA's and no ea at all, I am only learning the details now and now as I think about it have I really got an apology that means anything to me?? no....... but I am going to mc with my w and I think we will get there.
Contrast that to your situation where the A's have been going on for so long with obvious addiction issues with your wife, then don’t give in yet joker.
There is nothing wrong in finding out what your options are but go slowly joker it may be possible to save your M even now.
Remember, it is not unusual for a ww to NEVER apologise. They apologise for the hurt but some never do it for the affairs... read the info here again by Dr Harley because it will show you there is hope.
<small>[ September 20, 2004, 07:10 AM: Message edited by: aussie2 ]</small>
