OK, MB-ers; I need some input! I have a meeting next week with our church elders about forming a "marriage-crisis team". I've done a lot of research and found that most churches offer a very good pre-marriage program, and also a very good post-divorce program; but that very few have a program for troubled marriages other than traditional marriage counseling. As we all know; marriage counseling works only some of the time and the biggest issue that I had was that 1-hour per week was not adequate for what I was going through. Furthermore; as my WW was also my best-friend, I found that my best friend was not available for me during the worst time in my life; because she was the wayward one! Consequently, I had no one to talk to at midnight when I was ready to scream other than our dog and the walls! I'm trying to bridge this gap with informed and perhaps experienced church-members. My thinking is similar to a sponsor's duty in a 12-step program such as AA.

Here are my questions for you:

1. To WS's: Tell me what might have made a difference (if anything) when you first began your wayward journey.

2. To BS's: I found it so hard not to LB with each new revelation. Would you find it helpful to have "someone else" to vent to, talk to, cry with, laugh with, etc. instead of taking your emotions out on your WS? I'm talking any time 24 hours a day.

3. To All: Offer ideas, input, etc.

Disclaimer: This team will not offer counseling! Our only job is to help get WS's and/or BS's to the point of seeing MC's or to a weekend seminar, class, etc. without doing further emotional damage to each other. So please keep this in mind.

Thanks.

FR


Note: This is also posted in Divorcing/Divorced Column!