I have a few questions about Plan A. I'm not sure I am doing this right and I need some help please.

#1 In November it will be 6 months since Dday. The limit for me & Plan A. Am I supposed to let H know of this time limit? I think if he knew there was a time limit he would he pressured into making a decision.

#2 Do I set boundries for our M now or wait till he's made the decision to stay and save the M?

#3 When do I know the right time to Plan B?

Thanks for any advice!

I think your questions can be answered with one factual statement - you can't go to Plan B living under the same roof.

Until you separate, you're stuck in Plan A. Some have tried "in house" Plan Bs, but it just doesn't work.

JMHO

Also - you can set boundaries any time you want and probably should have already done so.

Your sister?

Have you exposed to all?

WAT

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I think your questions can be answered with one factual statement - you can't go to Plan B living under the same roof. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know I can't Plan B living under the same roof. That's why I want to know "When do I know the right time to Plan B?" In other words, when do I stop taking his crap and kick his [censored] to the curb? I love him very much and want this M to work. But, H hasn't made the commitment to save our M. He says he is still thinking what decision he wants to make. He isn't "in love" with me. He is "in love" with my sister.
Yes, I exposed the A to almost everyone. Just kept it from a few people. Is it really necessary to expose to EVERYONE? My mother asked I not expose to a few people cause she is embarrased of my sister's behaviour.

You should expose it to anyone whom your sister wouldn't want you to.

To assess your ability to kick him out, what are your housing arrangements? Own or rent? In whose name?

Emotionally, assuming you can kick him out, the time to do this (Plan B) in MB terms is when you have completed your Plan A introspective examination, fixed your contributions to the poor marital state that allowed an affair to develop, demonstrated your fixes to your WS, and are at the point that you cannot keep from LB'ing.

Are you there?

If so, see an attorney and arrange for whatever legal stuff you need to divide assets, specify continuing financial responsibilites, and determine child custody. THEN you kick him out.

JMHO

WAT