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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443 |
Still in plan A and trying to figure out how to show ww that there is hope for us.....
any suggestions on showing Hope???
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
smile at her...
share funny stories
share your day...
share really good memories...
make plans for future memories...
remember when we spent that day with the kids...at _______________ would love to go back there soon with them...
ask how she is doing
feeling
ask if she is sleeping well
eating well..not all at once ofcourse..but verbalize concern about her....
tell her glad you are that she is here today..now...how much that means to you...
how you want her to feel happiness again..
ark
blessings to you and your family today justa
ark
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443 |
ark
I wrote her a note this morning before she got up and left it in her coffee cup. IT basicly said that today is a special day and that i am here for her if she needs me. She got up read the note and said thanks and then has acted as cold as can be.
We went to cemetary and i hugged her and she barely put her arms around me. Even on this day she cant get past the fog.
Im so hurt today by both issues i just dont want to go on this way....
I know she is hurting too and i have reached out and she just cant or wont accept anything....
I dont know what else to do....
the contact contiues and its in my face....she says one thing and acts like another....
I keep re-reading yourposts to me and i am trying to be understanding and patient.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
write your plan b letter..
it will be a good exercise for you to gage where you are at..
pick your time frame that you can live with in plan a..
the plan is that SHE goes....
prepare for that....
ARK
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
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OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443 |
We have discussed this as recently as the other night and she insists that she is not leaving.
I have written 2 letters
- my moment of enlightment (which she currently uses against me) I have shown IC this letter and he feels it is a good one and very insiteful.
- plan b....bascily copied but has some of my thoughts. I have shown this to IC as well. He says hold a bit on this.
My time frame is Nov.1 not sure if thats too long or too short..
ITs like she reels me in to boost me a little and once she hears what she wants then lets out the line and contiues her merry way....
mixed signals, anger, lying....is all that she shows me.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 108
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 108 |
Nov 1 seems too quick.
Also take note of the holidays. They can be part of your plan a, or plan b and you'll have to weigh the benefits of them.
keep in mind it was a gradual process to get to this point. To rebuild cannot happen that quickly.
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