Ok I have been so busy trying to work(my job) and learn from all of your wonderful posts. Please respond if you can I have about an hour before I go home to him.

Ok I maybe slipping back today – I have not made up my mind. Talk about being a bad MB’er. I left our house on Sunday –off the cuff with no Plan B letter or really a thought about one. My wh was pissed and disappeared for two days. I heard from him last night pissed that I was not at home – he had a big present for my S (he turned 7 yesterday). I just said the kids are asleep and I took a sleeping pill I can’t – but I love you and I want to talk about our future, I want our marriage to work.

Today he called and we went into the same grove about finances which I handle, how he wants to spend my D (she turns 4 today) birthday at our house and wants us back home. No pleading or begging just more in a demanding type of tone. I must tell you guys I feel better than I have in the past 4 days (I have been a crying bumbling mess). Even though I know if I do come home (which I kind of agreed to) there is a big possibility that we will slip back into the same (him not coming home on weekends, tm from OW, etc). I told him I want to talk about our future – he said he would listen –but he may need a bj to see if he still likes me first. He invited his my IL over to celebrate (they have been a great support to me).

I’ve have a scribbled together two letters that I thought I would read to him one to my wh a plan b letter that says nc but I probably would change-its just not practical after talking to my lawyer about my situation and a letter to the ow’s dad. The thing is that he probably will not leave unless I file for separation which I don’t want to do just yet.

.....Yeah. How about this:

Don't go home until there's a recovery plan in place

AND

you've both been working on it for a couple of months.

You seem to be all over the place and reacting on pure emotion. You need to react with your head not your heart. What is your plan? What do you want? What are you willing to do to get there? What are your boundaries? You need to anwser these questions and formulate a plan.

You are right my brain is all over the place -- I am swimming with advice from everyone. My boundries should be self expanitory - but what is it -- what I expect -ie him coming home on weekends. All I know is I have to give my little girl a little birthday celebration and this does not seem like the right way to do it.