2Scared...

Yes, I suppose it is promising that he is having some good days. I've actually suggested us not sleeping together and living in the house, and the answer was a resounding, "No." I thought that he would have compassion on me too with my sister's BF moving in and stuff, but nope. Maybe after a few more weeks I may bring it up again.

My H did the same thing when he filed for separation. He changed the locks on me, didn't deposit his check into our account, and spent $700 of OUR money for HIS lawyer. When I spoke to a lawyer myself and found out that it wasn't within his legal rights to lock me out of my own home, he changed the locks back. He also went ahead an deposited his check into the account...after I explained to him that bills wouldn't be able to be paid if he didn't do that. The orginal sep. papers stated that he was going to live in the house and take care of all the bills, plus his credit card debt. I don't know if he was just still in shock or wasn't thinking clearly for whatever reason, I had to explain to him that he wouldn't be able to afford to do so on his own. At first, he was really mad at me for not agreeing to those terms...but I crunched the numbers with him and told him that it wasn't my $ situation that I was worried about...it was his. See, I've handled the money and bills, etc. He doesn't have the best money sense and I do. I suppose if I was a snot I couldn't agreed and let him drown, but I just couldn't do that to him.

I appriciate SO MUCH your prayers, encouragement and male perspective.

Thank you...
Praying for you too!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

rae

Rae-

I just have a minute right now but wanted to thank you for your prayers. You don't know how important it is to me to have the support of someone (besides me) praying for my situation. We both understand that sin has consequences but grace is a by-product of a broken heart.

We understand that we probably deserve everything we are getting BUT our hearts cry out for mercy and restoration. We are seeing so many brokenhearted BS's who would love to have their WS repent and WANT to restore, yet we are trying to melt the hearts of our hurt and bitter spouses.

So, it is comforting to know someone else out there understands and is praying. I want you to know that I am praying for you and your H.

Thanks for your prayers! God DOES have a plan for our lives. HE will help us through this struggle.

I hope you have a great evening.

2scared

2Scared-

Thanks for you prayers and words of encouragement as well. It is such a comfort to know there's somebody else out there who's situation is similar to mine.

I was on the phone with my mom the other night, and of course she asked how things were. When I told her, she said, "Gosh, he's not budging is he?" Gee, thanks for the encouragement mom. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I just wish that we could live together and just stay in separate rooms. I don't know how or when to even bring that up to him. I don't want him to get angry with me over it.

Well...it's my plan hour at school so i guess i should do some grading...

SIGN

rae

Rae-

I just have a minute. I'm out of town at my sisters and am flying out to Mass. tomorrow morning for my sons wedding. It could be REAL interesting. In-laws and everything. PLEASE keep me in your prayers. I will have my laptop so I hope to be able to log on at some point and check on things here. Hang in there and know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

2scared

Hi 2Scared-

Hope your flight was safe. Will be definitely praying for you specifically for this wedding to be a time of joy, not stress!!

Wish me luch and pray for me too. I'm gonna attempt to talk to my H tomorrow when he gets home. I already emailed him asking if he would talk to me and haven't heard from him yet. ?!?!?!

rae

Rae-

I'll be praying for you! I arrived safely. My W is being nice...she called a truce for the wedding. It screws with my head because I look at her and want to hug her. All the emotions are overwhelming. I miss her so much!!!!!!!

I know that the niceness is just a temporary thing. Once we're back home she will switch back to cold and bitter. YUCK.

I want her back!!!! Sooooo bad.

2scared

2S-

Glad things are going well for you at the wedding. Am praying for you...sorry not much of a comfort here...it's been BAD.

YOu can read all about it on the thread that Sadfww set up for us lousy WW's.

My H took your suggestion to set up a private email acct. the wrong way. He's been reading my posts (which I don't mind AT ALL) and seemed to think that you and I were gonna have an email for just you and I or something. He didn't get it that you meant that for MY privacy. I told him yesterday anyway when I did remember. Rewind...I set it up on Mon., spoke to him Tues. VERY briefly and the email address didn't even cross my mind. So, when I saw him Friday (he came home unexpectedly before going to his sister's), I told him cause I remembered. Well, since he'd been reading my posts, he found out before I told him and tried my usual password that I use.

Now he's back to "I want a divorce." I just don't get it. If you get a chance some time...read the whole episode on that thread. When I posted parts of the conversation, I didn't post the whole stinkin' thing. But Uphill wrote a reply and I really honestly don't see where he's coming from. Obviously there's something in the male water here, b/c he seems to have hit the nail on the head when describing my H's feelings...but maybe you could offer some feedback too. I know you're out of town...just whenever you have a chance when you get back.

Congrats on the wedding...I needs lots of prayers right now!!! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Rae

Rae-

The ONLY reason for the private email account was so that you would not be giving out your email address online. YOUR protection.

I will read and respond when I get back home.

I'm sorry for your troubles. He has nothing to fear from me.

2scared

Rae-

I am still praying every day that your marriage will be restored. Every day!

2scared

Rae-

Hang in there

2scared

Rae-

I'm still praying....

2scared

Hi 2Scared...

Thank you for your prayers...even though I haven't been posting, you are still in my prayers.

I'm too depressed to do much of anything. I get home from school, do my Taebo (I've only gotten through about 15 minutes of the 60 minutes so far--that's what I get for stopping it in the first place), and read, or clean out my grandparents' cats' THREE litter boxes, and pray pray pray.

Rae

Rae-

Keep praying. My W is doing stupid things like withdrawing money and still writing checks out of my account. I'm meeting financial needs (ALL of them) and she isn't doing squat. Inside I want to look at her and say "I'm not going to let you continue to use me anymore". BUT... I'm afraid that if I do it will make her go ahead and file. I feel like I'm being held hostage and being used. It's Yucky. Anyway...I feel my heart slipping away. No love deposits into my account in a long time... I'm running on empty.

I'm just waiting for the hammer to fall.

I'm praying....
2scared

Rae and 2scared...thinking of you both- and saying a prayer for you. Wish I had more to offer.

Rae-

I got served.....

Hmmmmm. Keep praying.

2scared

Hi 2Scared...

I'm sorry to hear about it.

Things have gone from bad to worse. He is not doing any better...the last time I spoke to him he was verbally abusive...calling me every name he could think of and yelling at the top of his lungs.

I'm not going to expose myself to that...I'm a human being who doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I'm not going to have anything to do with him. If he wants to get a hold of me if he ever is ready to work on this marriage, then fine. I'm not going to allow his wicked comments to dictate how I feel. I've spent this time complying to everything he wants...and he's not budged a bit. There comes a point in time where you have to let go and tell yourself that you absolutely can't do anything else. I've made him meals, which he hasn't eaten. I've done his laundry. I'm not doing any of that anymore...when all he does is verbally abuse me for it. he said, "Next time you come home, you should do less cooking and more cleaning." How mean!!! I'm sorry...I'm venting.

I'm praying for you. I stopped posting so much here b/c my H yelled at me for it (why, I don't know). But I'm not going to not post...this is one of the only safe and supportive places I can be. I'm not going to try to work on the marriage anymore...it's all in vain.

Just remember...I know it's God's will for marriages to work out...but don't beat yourself up b/c of your mistake. You've been forgiven if you've asked for forgiveness. The consequences aren't desirable, and if you had another chance to do it over, you wouldn't make the same mistake again. You are a caring, intelligent person who deserves to be happy...you deserve to be made happy. I know that I would have never looked outside of the marriage if he was being the husband he should have been and God wanted him to be. I know that I was an awesome wife...making him dinner, making him breakfast on the weekends, making our house a home, loving him, etc.

Well...the bell rang...have a good day...please write back and talk to me.

Rae

Rae-

You're exactly right! We do not need to beat ourselves up once we have been forgiven and done everything to rebuild the M. We do deserve to be loved and cared for. We WILL continue on and God WILL continue to care for us. He has a plan and that plan will include someone who will care for and love us. We do deserve that.

I have pulled back some from posting too. Mainly because I have been so busy and out of town. You hang in there and know that I'm still DAILY praying for you.

Keep in touch.

2scared

2Scared--

Praying for you...hang in there.

Rae

Rae-

Have you read any on the book? Just wondering...

2scared

I'm praying for both of you daily. Let the lord keep you in the palm of his hand, let his light shine upon you- and be gracious unto you...

thinking of you both.