Just wanted to give you an update on my MB efforts. A little background, W in an EA with ex boyfriend. Says she has cut ties and wants to work on M. In three weeks she leaves for a wedding with my 2.5 year old D. Will be staying with her parents very near OM. Says she will not contact him. I'm still not OK with this especially with my D going. My IL's seem to be understanding with me and don't respect decision my W has made with OM.

Anyway, this weekend I planned a getaway for the two of us. It was a very nice surprise for her, massage, hot springs, nice dinner. We held hands, kissed a couple of pecks and cuddled in bed. I feel it was a start. I guess I am still in Plan A. I am thinking of writing email to OM saying "please don't contact her, etc." I know this letter should come from my W, but I am afraid to bring it up because we have made some progress. She changed her mind so fast to work on our M, she may change it again.

I am still going to MC, but my wife has quit and seems like she won't start again for a while. This really bugs me and she knows it, but I don't want to force her.

Bottom line is that we have made some progress, there is still some unanswered questions out there. Espeically about her trip in 3 weeks. Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.

You should go to that wedding with her, there is no logical excuse for a spouse to be left out of an event like this. If your WW has a problem with this, then she isn't really committed to working on the M. You have absolutely no reason to trust her at this point. Trust is something that you earn and she has not earned your trust. IMO, there is no room for negotiation on this issue.

I'm fairly new here. What does IMO mean??? Thanks,

Jmash

My WW was very quiet last night. I even sent her a nice email thanking her for the weekend getaway that she agreed to go on with me. No response from her at all. She only talked about this damn wedding she is going to. I guess this is all part of plan A. Giving and giving and getting nothing in return. I think my love bank is starting to be drained. It has taken over a month, but her attitude of not wanting to talk, saying that she has NC but with no proof, still expecting me to let her take our D on this trip when OM will be 30 miles away, etc. It is draining me.

I also registered her cell phone online so I could get access to her phone records. Whoops, she got a letter in the mail saying "thank for registering online." She has left in out on the counter for a week. I'm not sure if she wants me to say something. If she asks, I will be honest and tell her that is one of the ways I could tell she was having an EA.

Jmash