Let's see. Affair started in March 04. Dday was June 04. He moved out immediately. Stayed at the house a few times, and knows I am willing to work on things and forgive. He went home to parents a few weeks ago but still saw ow on weekend. THey met up. The contact continued. He came home about 8 days ago and has been with me and I thought trying to work on things. Not much relationship talk, she is moving away, and he said he was not going, not sure what he was doing. Still confused, blah,blah...

I have had my doubts and think deep down that he is telling us different things. I found a card in his car this morning, from ow. it said I can not wait until this weekend to be together and start our lives again. My dreams are finally coming true, etc..Her H has filed for divorce, that is over. Me and my H have not seen an attorney or done anything. He still says he is unsure. I am not sure if I believe that or if he is just saying that.

He says he is leaving to go back home to parents today. i am scared he will leave from there to be with her. maybe not permanantly but just to see what he wants to do. should i tell him i saw the card before he leaves today. should i tell him if he goes, that is a sign that he is moving on with her and the next step is D.

I think moving in with another woman is a sign that he is moving on. Even if he is really unsure, I am tired of the disrespect. All i have done is been kind all week. NO SF at all, because he says he is unsure of what he is doing, so that would not be fair.

He should be here soon to tell me bye, that he is going home. Should I ask about the card, even though he will be mad that i went in his car. It was right in the door, how dumb can you be..

Please give advice as what I should say to him to let him know that if he goes away states away with her, that it is not acceptable..

I really want it to work, but the lies continue!

any ideas or thoughts???

Probably time for Plan B. Have you thought about writing a Plan B letter?

I have thought about it. I guess I will have to do that. I really thought he was coming out of the fog, but after reading her card, and her saying that they will be the new bed, and the new house, etc. I feel that he is not coming out of it at all. she signed it I love you. He has told me that he does not love her. Should i confront about the card or just ask what his plans are..

He came by and left to go home to parents. I confronted him about the card and he said that he was not going away with her, but that had talked about it. I told him that she must be getting the idea that they were going to have some new life together from somewhere, unless she is totally off of her rocker. He says he is going home not away with her. He needs to go think and decide. He got very defensive and said well lets just get a seperation. It will never be able to work out. Things have changed too much. I told him my love has not changed and that is the difference. If I could go through an affair that still continues, then I can work on our relationship. I told him that he must stop talking, emailing, seeing her before we can even think that our marriage will be normal again. If he moves with her, it will be time for plan B for sure. Maybe more...