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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100 |
It has been about 10 weeks since I found out about H's A. He says that there has been NC, but there are times that I wonder. There has been times that the sex was as often as it was when we first met but the past few days have been completely different, and he acts sort of uncomfortable around me, not undressing with the lights on, etc. I asked him last night if he still felt the same about me that he use to, he said, "yes, I love you" so since I got no response to that I just told him that if he would open up to me that we could have a much closer R, and I told him that I knew there was still something wrong with him and when he was ready to talk to me that he could tell me anything. Did I say the right things and does it sound like he's still having contact? Is there a possibility that the guilt is just now starting to hit home?
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100 |
BUMP! Somebody got advice?????
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100 |
UPDATE!!!!!!! Maybe what I said last night is getting through! He called me on his lunch break which he usually does, but when we were ready to say goodbye, he said, "I love you sweetie" and blew me a kiss, I can't remember when he did that the last time.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,236
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,236 |
If it's only been 10 weeks, he could still be in withdrawal - ups and downs in mood, from friendly to surly, etc.
I'm not experienced enough to give much advice. Good luck. You're farther along this road than I am.
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100 |
Thanks Starz, glad you replied. I feel as though I'm very new to this too. There's still so much that I don't understand, but we will all make it, good luck to you!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Sounds like you are saying the right things. He may be feeling guilty, or in withdrawal. Who knows? The most important thing is for you make it safe for him to tell you things.
Also have you both filled out the emotional needs questionnaire on this site? That might help.
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100 |
Thanks believer, we will probably do those questionnaires over the weekend, I printed them yesterday so that we could use them. It's like he has mood swings, last night he was wonderful, and as loving as he was before the A began. I guess what I said did help.
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