Feeling Pretty anxious right about now, could use some uplifting info....
Anybody have any success stories to share? I have read alot about people that have followed all of the advice, and all of the suggestions, and all of the guidelines, but I have not seen many that have actually saved a marriage? Anybody got any?!

There is a post floating around here somewhere with my story.....mine goes way back.

I'll try to make this as short as possible.

My sister caught my H and the OW kissing in her car at work. Told him to tell me or she would.
He told me....that was supposed to be the end of it.

For about 5 months we lived in limbo. Me trying to deal with it all....him still secretly seeing the OW although not as secretly as he thought. In those 5 months my H left twice...both for about a week.

He finally conviced me that the OW wasn't in the picture any longer....but that he just wanted out. In July of 2001 my H packed up most of his stuff and moved out of our house and into my sisters house. She was newly divorced....and said that she would rather him have a place to go than to sleep in his truck....plus...she could use some help on the rent since she was newly divorced and a single parent. Needless to say...this destroyed my relationship with my sister.

The OW WAS still in the picture...and as soon as he moved out....they went public. My family supported my H in his decision....his family did not.

My H said that divorce was the only option but never made a move to start the procedures.

When we were seperated for 3 months....I decided that I was over the marriage and my H's crap and started to move on. I started legal procedures and actually went on a date.

On that date my H proceded to call me 17 times in one day. My sister said that he couldn't function....he paced the floor and couldn't do his job at work. She sat him down and told him that there was no possible way that he could be jelous if he didn't love me. I guess it clicked.

It took my H 2 weeks after that to call it off with the OW. He had been telling me for a while that he was going to anyway....I just told him that I would believe it when I saw it.

Now...before they broke it off my H was calling me and asking me to come talk to him...taking vacation days and wanting me to spend them with him and so on. I finally told him that I wasn't going to be the OW in this whole mixed up thing and told him to call me when he had the OW completely out of his system.

They ended up breaking it off mutually....though it seemed a little harder for her to let go than it did my H.

Around 2 weeks after that my H came to me and told me that he wanted us to be a family again and that he was ready to do whatever it took to make our marriage work. I wasn't ready to just pick up where we left off so I didn't let him move back in the house at that time.

Unfortunately because of my H's A and him moving out, our house ended up being forclosed on because he hadn't been making the payments. So....1 month after he broke it off with the OW our daughters and I had to end up moving in with him and my sister. I let him know from the beginning that this didn't mean that everything was back to normal. My sister and I couldn't live in the same house together.....I was still angry with her....so we moved in with my H's parents.

It's been rough....in the first few months of recovery there was some contact with the OW....but I'm happy to say that she no longer works for my H and it's been about 3 years since there was any contact with her.

We are both different people now and we like who each of us has become. We've learned that marriage is something that takes work on a daily basis and you shouldn't take any of it for granted.

I've left ALOT of stuff out to make this as short as it is. My H was the ULTIMATE cake man....and he said ALOT of nasty things to me throughout this while ordeal. I never thought we were going to get back together. But we did.

[QUOTE][QB]

TMCM suggested I paste my "update post" that I had written for JL earlier today here.

My story: I had 2 A's 8 years ago. 3 years post-2nd A I came clean to my H as I couldn't take the guilt or continue to live with the fact that I had deceived him. That was five years ago. I initially came here hoping for some advice on how to rebuild my marriage as I attributed all of the problems we had to my A's. JL helped me to figure out that I was doing some significant LB'ing, and that while the A's were an issue that couldn't be completely ignored, that most of our current problems stemmed from my behavior. I made a big effort to close my mouth, start meeting H's ENs and really to work on my marriage.

Here's my post:

I just wanted to give you a quick update since you have been so very very helpful to me these past 2 months!

My relationship with my H just continues to get better and better. I am - in a word- amazed. Seriously, too bad I didn't know that making such simple changes in myself could change our relationship so dramatically. There are still tongue-biting moments- and still work to be done- but things are so GOOD right now.

As some examples- H called me on my cell phone- just to chat- while I drove home last night. We talked about this and that for over 1/2 an hour with no arguing - just enjoying talking together. Last night we watched a movie together while the kids were playing in their playroom, and it was so fun to share some time with him- chatting about the plot throughout the story. AND, best of all, he- on his own- came up with the idea that Saturdays should be family days and Sundays will be our date days! I love it!

Happy Happy Happy!!!!!

Sorry for the gushing- I'm just feeling really good about my relationship with H! Thank you!

I wrote this a little bit ago about my H and thought I'd share it with you (feel free to gag- I know I don't write well):

Love Song

I am drenched with your soul
Infused with your love
The wild beating of my heart
Matches its cadence with yours.

I am in love.

Or is it love?

What is this dark
Almost rabid emotion
That pulls my life force from its being?

My every thought
My every breath
Belong to you

And my inner self
Quakes in need
The need of your touch
The need of your heated breath warming my body
The need of your mind touching mine.

The moon rises
Golden light spills from my cupped hands
Onto your warm flesh
And I trace our initials
Intertwined
As my heart is with yours
As our souls are together

Is this love?

I am yours
To the deepest edges of the blackening sky
To the furthest reaches of the star-studded night
To the end of the sun-gold tipped horizon.

I am yours.