This is going to be tough...

Tough is an understatement...I usually join WH's family for Thanksgiving and now will fly solo for the first time ever as I don't want to devastate my family with the news during the holidays (only my parents know). I guess I'll just have to live with turkey sandwiches...ugh. And Christmas will be worse...I loved shopping for my WH during the holidays, picking out the x-mas tree, decorating it, and going to holiday parties together. Going home solo to have to confront my entire family about the sad news is going to be completely demoralizing...and I used to love the holiday season...grrrr.

It ain't the holidays yet though...let's continue to hope and pray for the best.

-K

ME: 28 yo FW dreading that knock on my door.
Him: 30 yo WH who had 4 month affair last fall, ended it, dropped bomb in May 04, left me, and admits to dating other woman now <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I am not looking forward to any of it at all. Thanksgiving was my WW favorite holiday. It just wont be the same without her. I can't even get excited about my B-day this weekend. But you are right kjb, the holidays aren't here yet. We can still hope for the best.

This is a source of GREAT anxiety for me. I'm not so worried about thanksgiving because for the last 3-4 years we have left on road trips in our RV for to have thanksgiving on the road in places like yosemite or disneyland with our children due to the fact that my extended family can't seem to get along during the holidays we distance ourselves from it. We are in the recovery phase but I'm still not living home (wife not ready yet). We talked the other night and agreed we will still do our road trip. We plan to hit all the amusment parks in so cal. But christmas scares me and will be an immense challenge for me if I'm not home yet. I will be so sad not to stay up and prepare my house for christmas morning for my kids and see their faces when they come out to see what Santa brought. I know my wife would wait for me to get there but it just won't be the same. Hopefully it won't be an issue by then........

The holidays are approaching and maybe it will help lift the fog on my ww. not only are the holidays approaching but my b-day is next week and our 11th wedding aniversary is at the end of Oct. My ww b-day is on christmas day.

The only thing i want for my b-day (40th) is my wifey back. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ..dont think thats going to happen. We are still in plan A.

Sorry to offer some advice here - I usually try to offer only examples BUT:

I think you folks need to stop wrrying about stuff that may not happen. expecting negative outcomes will AFFECT a negative outcome IMO.

Take every day as it comes while you Plan your buns off.

It was our 18th wedding anniversary on Monday. I was expecting a terrible time, but my FWW miraculously turned around in the previous couple of weeks, culminating in a frankly LOVELY weekend with our family at our holiday home in Wales and a LOVELY anniversary, with a splendid and intimate Thai lunch, a lovemaking session afterwards that almost overran into making us late to collect the kids from school and no sadness at all on that day for either of us.

Read my story if you care, would YOU have forseen that even a month ago ?

Completely unexpected. Had I expected a disaster there would have been one, I feel sure.

MB plan away, make happy plans for the holidays for yourselves and your kids, and invite your WS to be part of them. Do not give your WS veto on your enjoyment of the holidays.

Arrange happy holidays which are not dependent on your WS presence.That way you gurantee a nice time, made better if WS returns in the interim.

All blessings

Parkem1 and JAH, Happy Birthday!! mine is next Friday (my 30th)...

Who'd a thunk it? I'll bite a slice of cake for the 2 of you.

Thanks BP, I guess to prematurally worry and complain won't fix anything. Let's help each other make this lonely season one to be proud of...

I will have to spend the first holiday ever w/out my kids this Thanksgiving. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

And on top of everything else I've lost, I've lost every other Christmas too. And my kids are small. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />