I’m not sure whether to use it on me or my WW. In case you haven’t guessed this is my rage or vent email. I’ve been working hard at Plan A since returning to our “home” on Aug 18. Things seem(ed) to be getting better, but last night I couldn’t help looking at our computer at home and could see that my WW had been on her private Yahoo email account for the last 5 straight days…a dramatic spike in the level of contact with OM. She noticed when she got home that I was in a peculiar mood, pressed me for an answer, so I asked her why her contact with OM was up. The kids then came in, so she just smiled politely and said I needn’t worry. Yeah, right. That was when I wanted the 2x4 because that foggy glaze was in her eyes again.
After dinner we had couch time in the bedroom (those of you familiar with Growing Kids God’s Way should know about couch time). Of course the subject of her emails came up within a minute.
“So, you’ve been checking up on me again on the computer. Are you doing this everyday?”
“No, just today. You told me about emailing him Monday and Tuesday, but were evasive on the discussion. Sounded to me like you had a running dialogue with him again.”
“Well, his friends have been telling him it is time to move on. A few say to hang in there. I’ve been talking him through this as he prepares to let go.” <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> (2x4 blow #2 inserted here)
“You mean as you try to prepare yourself to let go”
“That too…I told him Good Bye in my email today.”
(Thinking to myself, Mmm Hmm, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I’ve heard this at least five times already.)
“It’s getting too emotionally hard on us to continue,we’ve decided to not contact each other for awhile. It has been so hard on us…What are you thinking?” (Multiple 2x4 blows as the fog sets in thick and heavy)
“I think you are humiliating me…” <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
“Humiliating you?”
“Yes, you honestly believe you can go back to being friends with this guy. I’ll only see him as your fiancée and lover ((((he proposed to her this summer during their tryst. WW said yes, then realized a one room apt in Bosnia was a far cry from our 4bdr house in Hawaii)))) …Also, I’ve seen you cry a lot of tears for him and you, but when was the last time you shed a tear for me? Hurting you and him (undeniable passion arising in my voice)? What about hurting me as well?!!? (This is where a fellow BS would have had permission to hit me with the 2x4. We’ll see what the LB damage was today I’m sure)
Incredibly neither of us raised our voices during this conversation. Later in the night when we went to bed I gave her the standard body massage (Ladies, I’m like clock work on this; she has it soooooo good with me. Every night for years I have stroked the day’s tension out of her to help her go to sleep). Conversation covered her lack of self-esteem, a subject she brought up. It all seemed to end peacefully enough. Tonight we have a date, I’ll keep Plan A alive and active for as long as it takes, but last night I just got weary of being the good guy when she started pining over the OM.
I don’t expect too many responses on this since it is a vent posting. Figurative 2x4 blows to my head are welcome by all fellow MBers out there.
