quick bg of our story:
9/01 married and bought first home (we had been dating for 9 years prior to this)
3/02 found out I was prgnant, his dad diagnosed with terminal cancer
9/02 had baby (we never wanted children, so this was a suprise...of course now we love her more than anything!),
9/03 his dad dies of cancer...he lived with dad for 3 months to take care of him...
There were a few other things that transpired during thsi time..all negative...so it has been a BAD couple of years..excluding our beautiful baby!
3/04 FInd out about EA with W at work

For the last 6 months we have had many BIG fights, lies and false promises...he continued with contact until at least August that I knwo of after promising to stop talking ot her...we have been thru all the standard stuff I have read about here...I forced him to get an apt. in august but he never moved in...he claims he wants this to work....I know he had contact with ehr on 8/30...not sure if anything since then since I promised I would stop looking!

So wed. was our 3rd anniv, and I got nothing! He claimed he got me a card but it was at his apt., and he gave it to me the next day...but I guess I was expecting something a little special...he sent the OW flowers on 8/13, but he couldnt do one thing for me on our anniv? Am I expecting too much too soon? Isnt this a sign he just doesnt care?

If he keeps saying "let's try to get a long" and "I want this to work". why can he not give a little? Why do I as the BW need to sacrifice my pride and my heart to get nothing back? How long is this supposed to go on for?

I have been TRYING really hard to do Plan A, but am struggling how to do it when I am the one who has been hurt...seems to me that the WS should be doing hte plan A!!!

Someone help me please! I do think this can work..I know my husband and I know he wouldnt be here if he did not want this....

How do I stop being angry and stop nagging him and stop trying to have these DEEP conversations to find out what he really wants? I want this to work, but not at the risk of me doing all the work....will he ever give back?!?!?!?!? Did you all go through this?!?!!? Will he EVER be able to make me feel special again or is there so much damage done that he wont be capable?!?!?

Thanks so much!!! Thank God for this board...it has been incredible!!!!