My STBX is now threatening to take my son away from me. DS spent the night with him last night and I could hear him in the background saying something negative about me....I aske my son to give his dad the phone. I proceeded to tell him what he was doing was wrong and got angry...he held the phone out so that my son could hear me yelling at him. He said to my son.."see how mad your mom gets"....then started telling me to talk louder... I was so upset...I cried all night. How can he do that to me...to our son?

He also said he was going to give me an ultimatum.....what kind of ultimatum can he give me??? I've done NOTHING!!!! Has anybody else heard this kind of crap from their spouse? I just don't understand!!!

I go to my lawyer Monday. I can't wait!!! I want OUT of this marriage!

TR - I'm sorry he is being such as a$$. You can't control what he does, just keep being there for your son. Continue to be the best person you can be and you will come out on top. I'm glad you're seeing a lawyer on Monday, you need to make sure your rights and your sons are protected. You're doing great, don't let STXH get to you. He doesn't deserve this much of your time and attention.

Tree
Document everything. Speaking ill of you to your son will come back to bite him. Instead of believing your stbx that you are a terrible mother, your son will know the truth. He lives it. In the end, your stbx will be the one that your son will think has behavior unbecoming of a parent.

It's all empty threats. He left you for another woman so what leg does he have to stand on?

Don't let your son become a pawn in the destruction of your marriage. He'll be the one to suffer the most. Just remind your son how much you love him and don't fall into the trap of speaking ill of or to his father. It's just that-a trap. Don't even let him over hear you speaking about your husband on the phone or in a conversation with another. If he asks about your stbx's behavior, just tell him that the both of you are going through a rough time right now and has nothing to do with your son. He'll internalize this and think it's his fault. You also may want to speak to his teacher that things are stressful at home. She/he needs to know in case he loses the ability to concentrate or has difficulty.

Your attorney will be able to help. Don't allow your stbx to anger you or manipulate. You don't want to chance him using it against you.

Thank you!
I am taking my son to see "A Shark's Tale" tonight so we can do something fun! Poor thing has had a rough day and needs some normalcy in his life right now.
I can't wait to go see the lawyer. I'm ready to get STBX out of my life and move on. I'm tired of living in this hell and feeling sad. I want to be happy again.

TR... out of curiosity, why does your STBX get to have your son at all? Are you sharing custody? Should you be? Do you have to be?

Do not let WH bait you! This is going to be the hardest test of all. WH is manipulative, arrogant and cruel...a deadly combination. You cannot take the bite.

He cannot take your son away from you, but he can play lots & lots of games with you & DS. Don't you dare let him. You detach, show him it aint going to work and soon he will give up.

You are sweet but you are smart. Use you wits.

Weaver

TR
Just remember one important fact: your STBX was the one who walked out on you and your son...he basically "abandoned" his son, even if he does see him. This may well help in custody issues