Hey all,
Just wanted to update u. 2 days ago WW where talking seperation again. I was tired of not getting reactions i wanted from her with regards to intimacy. We have been on a roller coaster ride since DD and we where starting to get queasey. I think neither one of us wanted to make a decision to seperate. After some angry outburst and rehashing the affair, and talking about whether we will ever be able to meet each others most important EN. She was talking about leaving Finances where one of the big hold backs on this decision. Plus neither one of us really want to do this. I still sense she loves me,she states this but she is just tired of the ups and downs wants to be happy again and not constantly talk about relationship problems, affair, and to look at me moping around when i don't get the reaction i want from her. (I guess i really have blowing Plan A since i started) She states she loves me and always will but it not same as it used to be, I think she was referring to when we first got married and early in our marraige. States that she is still working through her feelings and to give her time.
Bottom line we agreed to stay together and try to work at it, but we agreed not to talk relationship talk, affair, or me to mope around depress d/t this brings her down and really wants make her leave. I advised her that my requests are that we have no secrets and completely honest with each other and she should let us know when we doing something to make each other feel uncomfortable. She agreed. So far so good although it has only been 2 days.
Questions for other plan A'ers. Did anyone get the reactions that u wanted from your WW/WS when u where in plan A? I feel sometimes she can be close and others distance and annoyed. Is this normal for this phase in our recovery? Contact with OM has not been made since 07/21/04. She pretty much at this point has written him off.
How long did it take anyone to feel like they where back to a somewhat normal relationship? Things at times feel very awkward between us and i get depressed although i am trying not to let her see this. I reread plan A in SAA and it stated that WS may not be as receptive as u would like to your improvements and trying to meet their needs. Has this been true for anyone? and how long did it take before they actually noticed your changes and felt that they where geniune?
Appreciate any feedback on any one experiences with plan A in there recovery.
Thanks,
Jets
Back to Plan A hoping to do it right this time, love my WW and want us to be close again.
