WW is still in A. It seems that over the last couple of days and weeks that she is totaly focused in the A...as expected. But she is also continually looking for me and where i am even at family functions.

For example, yesterday she asked me to go to SIL for dinner with kids. I dropped the kids off and went grocery shopping. She called me 3 times asking where i was. This is either becaseu the baby (1.5 years old) was bugging her or becuase she just wants to bust my ball$ or....she is concerned that i am with someone else.

Since the A started i have lost 60 lbs and even i admit that i look good...or at least better.

IS this normal for cake eaters...to want the A and not want the BS to wander? Is this a normal thing or am i just looking and hopeing that that is what is on her mind?

Sweetie, you look GOOD! Your wife is probably thinking that you may do the same thing she is doing. Funny how they project their actions onto someone else.

Your best bet is to stay in Plan A, and take care of YOU too. Let her wonder what you are doing. Get out with friends and have some fun.

There is nothing like getting a life to make many a cake eating WS start worrying about whether his/her BS is moving on. Your losing weight may be interpreted as a warning sign by your WW that you may have found another woman to replace her. Why not start buying yourself brand new clothes and going out with friends once a week? Don't do it as a manipulative tactic to get your WW to come back to you though, but as part of plan in taking good care of yourself irregardless of whether she comes back or not.

I will start getting a life....im tired of all of this....I think i should inject some careful mystery....

is this typical behavior of ws?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Just a Husband:
I will start getting a life....im tired of all of this....I think i should inject some careful mystery....</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But don't do it to expect any positive results from her, do it because you know that it will help you personal recovery whether or not she comes back to you.

Remember that a successful Plan A means that she agrees [with her actions] to end her affair and implement The Four Rules For A Succesful Marriage. Anything less than that is just a waste of time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">is this typical behavior of ws?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">For a cake eating WS? Yep pretty much so.

I understand....thanks

Part of it is that i feel so empty and lost...and i think it shows on the outside. I try to smile....but dont want to seem fake...

She is just so angry and full of rage at me that it seems fleeting to show anything.....anytime i try i get shot down or no response....i know i should not expect anything in return....im just venting i guess....ill keep at it....

how much longer i dont know.