Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
J
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
WW is still in A. It seems that over the last couple of days and weeks that she is totaly focused in the A...as expected. But she is also continually looking for me and where i am even at family functions.

For example, yesterday she asked me to go to SIL for dinner with kids. I dropped the kids off and went grocery shopping. She called me 3 times asking where i was. This is either becaseu the baby (1.5 years old) was bugging her or becuase she just wants to bust my ball$ or....she is concerned that i am with someone else.

Since the A started i have lost 60 lbs and even i admit that i look good...or at least better.

IS this normal for cake eaters...to want the A and not want the BS to wander? Is this a normal thing or am i just looking and hopeing that that is what is on her mind?

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Sweetie, you look GOOD! Your wife is probably thinking that you may do the same thing she is doing. Funny how they project their actions onto someone else.

Your best bet is to stay in Plan A, and take care of YOU too. Let her wonder what you are doing. Get out with friends and have some fun.

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
There is nothing like getting a life to make many a cake eating WS start worrying about whether his/her BS is moving on. Your losing weight may be interpreted as a warning sign by your WW that you may have found another woman to replace her. Why not start buying yourself brand new clothes and going out with friends once a week? Don't do it as a manipulative tactic to get your WW to come back to you though, but as part of plan in taking good care of yourself irregardless of whether she comes back or not.

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
J
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
I will start getting a life....im tired of all of this....I think i should inject some careful mystery....

is this typical behavior of ws?

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Just a Husband:
I will start getting a life....im tired of all of this....I think i should inject some careful mystery....</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But don't do it to expect any positive results from her, do it because you know that it will help you personal recovery whether or not she comes back to you.

Remember that a successful Plan A means that she agrees [with her actions] to end her affair and implement The Four Rules For A Succesful Marriage. Anything less than that is just a waste of time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">is this typical behavior of ws?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">For a cake eating WS? Yep pretty much so.

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
J
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
I understand....thanks

Part of it is that i feel so empty and lost...and i think it shows on the outside. I try to smile....but dont want to seem fake...

She is just so angry and full of rage at me that it seems fleeting to show anything.....anytime i try i get shot down or no response....i know i should not expect anything in return....im just venting i guess....ill keep at it....

how much longer i dont know.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 517 guests, and 79 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
risoy60576, Steven Round, sonali pawar, Carter Whitaker, Pogre
71,979 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by risoy60576 - 05/24/25 09:12 AM
Advice pls
by Steven Round - 05/24/25 06:48 AM
I didn’t have a chance
by Open Leaf - 05/20/25 07:15 AM
My spouse is becoming religious
by Open Leaf - 05/16/25 12:57 PM
Roller Coaster Ride
by BrainHurts - 05/15/25 10:29 AM
Lack of sex - anyway to fix it?
by Open Leaf - 05/13/25 10:42 AM
Question for those who have done coaching
by Open Leaf - 05/09/25 12:45 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,505
Members71,979
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5