Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 10
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 10 |
Three weeks ago I told my husband about my affair a year ago with a friend of ours. It lasted two weeks and was so stupid. It started off with the other man being friendly and I fell right into the compliments and my needs being met by someone else.
My husband was amazing when I told him-he just kept reassuring me that he loved me and forgave me. Now things have changed and he looks at me with such disgust and hate. I've made many promises that I know I will keep. I will protect our marriage and never allow this to happen again-the pain is not worth it. I'm trying to give him his space but afraid at the same time that to much space isn't good. I don't want him to think for a second I don't love him.
I know he has to work through this and this is just part of the process...any advice for me would be appreciated and does anyone know of any books for the spouse that cheated on dealing with guilt and forgivng myself. The other man's wife knows now and I don't believe they've told anyone but their pastor-as far as my husband he's told no one about this-I wish he would just to have someone help him through this. He just wants to keep it quiet.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
How about "Surviving an Affair" and "Private Lies"
Would he be willing to read them.
I know from my own experience with betrayal that I really needed him to accept my anger. Like he had it coming and really needed to turn the other cheek when I went off on him.
I also needed him to answer every single question, and be happy to do it!
I needed him to Plan A me big time.
Unfortunately he didn't know about such things, but you do so you can work through this with your BS.
Hang in there and good luck to you!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Get into counseling with Steve, Jennifer C or Penny @ MB. They do phone counseling. Read Surviving an Affair and His Needs/Her Needs. Both are by Dr W. Harley.
Introduce this site to your H and let him know there is support for him. In fact it w/b easier for his to find support here.
You need support also but for the M not the A and that is what you will get here @ MB.
All the best,
L.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
1,100
guests, and
68
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,520
Members72,026
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
