Ive been in PlanA for about 10 months. Overall its doing very well and I know that my husband feels a lot closer to me than he did 10 months ago.
However, he still has problems with his computer/internet addiction. he spends far more time online than he does with me and the children. Last night he was online all night (admittedly he was also doing some work too). My general attitude lately has been to simply go and do my own thing when he is on the computer rather than hang about. However, yesterday was a particularly stressful day. In the early afternoon I found cannabis in my daughters purse and took it to the police station. She was consequently arrested and her father went with her for her questioning. She was let out on bail after a few hours.
When bedtime came I came into teh bedroom and asked my husband to come and lay down with me and have a chat b4 we went to sleep, so we could reflect on the day. At that point he recieved an email from one of his friends and spent ages replying before coming to bed. I told him that I was hurting. When he comes to bed I usually snuggle up to him (which he always objects to!) for a while before we sleep. Last night I didnt. I simply stayed on my own side of teh bed with my back towards him. I felt very hurt and was crying quietly. I eventually said without anger, " I understand now that they are more important to you than us". Just thinking had made me realise that the amount of time that he spends with his online friends is so much greater than the time he spends with the family (and i get a lot more of his time than the children do!), that his priority is them and not us. It was something I had not realised before.
He did not reply to me. we just layed in the dark facing opposite ways. Eventually we both turned over. then, amazingly, before turning over to sleep he reached out and held me for about 5 minutes.
This whole thing has made me start wondering if maybe its time for me to begin a 180. PlanB is simply not feasible at the moment (dont ask why but there are legal and financial reasons).
has anyone else experience of doing a 180 at home? Should I just be patient and contunue with Plan A? Any ideas and input ??
Thanks
Debra xx
